there were a few warning signs i ignored in my last relationship ok to explain the first- let me set it up i don't like masculine women.. i once had a blind meetup with a girl.. we met at the mall and she was cool but she just had a masculine way about herself.. nothing about her was feminine.. i immediately was like "this is going nowhere for me" well fast forward to me talking to the last girl i was in a relationship with.. when i spoke to her on the phone, she sounded masculine.. she had a masculine and non girly way of speaking.. i hated it but i overlooked it I SHOULDNT HAVE OVERLOOKED IT i hope any men reading this can be saved from a bad situation when u call your girl you don't want her to say "w'sup" in a low tone it just feels wrong.. u want her to use a happy or excited type of tone and talk to u the way a woman is supposed to like for example, last night i texted a female friend and she texted me back "Hey James!" i would have loved for my last girlfriend to address me that way but she was like a guy.. u know how men say hello with no real emotion? that's how she was talking to her on the phone for the first time, i was like "she sounds terrible" because she just sounded like an unaffected dude or something and i had a chance to say "hey i don't think this will work out" but in the name of trying to give her a chance, i kept talking to her but the problem was, her voice and way of speaking was an indication of who she was after a while, i started to piece a lot of things together and i can't remember all of them, but they were like: "she doesn't like to cuddle" "she doesn't like romance movies" "she said she intimidates people" "she does this or that" like i said i don't remember them all but i remember i had about 7 things she did that were not feminine (this was before we ever met) and i said to her one day "you sound like a guy with the things u say" and i listed off a bunch of the things i was referring to in response, she of course said "i'm not masculine" then she asked a bunch of people around her and they said the same but the issue with that was this: if she were to ask a guy- he would likely say no because of these reasons 1. she is pretty and he wants an opportunity to get on her good side 2. she has a feminine look which can possibly speak louder than her actions ESPECIALLY if he only knows her superficially if she were to ask a female- females 999 times out of 1,000 would not understand this concept women think its ok for women to be masculine these days and they cheer that on.. so there is no circumstance where i think a woman would even be qualified to accurately assess this at all i was the only person at that time getting a full view of her through conversation, so my perspective whether she believed it or not- was the most accurate (sidenote: if a girl ever tells you she doesn't like to cuddle.... RUN) so.. moving on.. she said she wasn't masculine.. and i ended up meeting her and she wasn't masculine in her actual demeanor or in her way of dressing, but she indeed had a masculine spirit this is why we argued all the time.. because i am a man, but she had a masculine spirit.. there was no proper ebb and flow.. like we all are male or female and the bible tells us the differences between us and how we should carry ourselves.. for example, men love and women submit.. but her masculine spirit always seemed to say "let's share submission duty" OF COURSE SHE WOULD NEVER SAY THAT OUTLOUD, but she ultimately wanted to take turns submitting like "i submitted last time, now its your turn" as opposed to the biblical stance of woman submits as unto the Lord ALL THE TIME and that's it, that duty is not shared so we argued constantly because she wanted male authority and this is something u can't really explain to a woman who is like this because they have a million and one excuses and debates and evasion tactics (all being of course void of logic) but anyway.. if i had just let it go after hearing her voice the first time we spoke on the phone, i would have dodged a lot of crap i even remember one conversation we had about our upbringings where she said she grew up in the ghetto and she said "where i'm from, everyone has to act like a man" smh so this is my advice to men out there don't get in a relationship the way i did.. don't waste your time go with your very first instincts i know u may be trying to ease up on your criteria to give someone a chance..... but just face the fact that doing so is ultimately settling
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James Arthurnew speak, true speak Archives
December 2017
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