i still see this issue where when i'm not interested in a woman she follows me everywhere
but when i am interested then she either A. never pays me any type of attention or B. runs away
trying to figure women out is literally like one of the worst things in life
it is literally like some type of terrible curse sent to make you question everything you ever thought you knew
you just try and try and try and at the end you still don't get it
for example, the other day i ran across this comment on youtube
this comment is like monumentally stupid to me.. like there are multiple layers of foolishness in this comment
when i really see how women think and operate i honestly find it to just be mind boggling sometimes
its like the routes they take to get to an objective are like.... their brains are like crazy-straws doing unnecessary loop de loops or something
one place to really see this is if you sign up on lipstick alley and read the confessions.. women say things that are just so short-bus sometimes its unbelievable (i remember one particular single woman said that to attract a man at her job- she was going to start wearing a wedding ring, smh)
so anyway... i ran this comment by a few female friends and one of them said "she thinks if she acts like she doesn't like him then he will like her"
i replied "my brain is officially scrambled eggs"
she said "don't try to understand women, we make crazy decisions when it comes to men"
so if a woman admits women's ways are often nonsensical then just think about how hard it is for a man to try and get a genuine understanding of women
i think she was right.. it's just one of those things where you're probably better off not knowing or even trying to know the details, because as soon as you stick your head in that rabbit hole.. out goes peace, in comes confusion, out goes sanity, in comes nonsense, out goes confidence, in comes instability, etc
the media does a great disservice making us think women are rational because what it does is it causes men to second guess themselves when the reality is.. WE MEN ARE THE ONES WHO ARE CORRECT AND STABLE while women are the ones who are way off and need to come up to our level
every time the media shows some feminist nonsense where a woman has the right answer and she has it all together and is the leader, it helps to mislead people into thinking two things A. men are less than what they really are B. women are more than what they really are
this is helping to create men who are not confident and women who are weary from carrying weight they weren't meant to carry
anyway.. back to my original point
i am tired of women having the opposite of the reaction they are supposed to have to my advances or lack thereof
i don't know where women get this idea that if a man approaches them correctly (i.e. giving her attention, inviting her places, taking her out, calling her and texting her) then he is a bug-a-boo or he is "too available" or he is "too nice"
but if a guy just ignores them and says he wants to use her for sex then he is a "strong and masculine" man, and he is "mysterious" lol.. what is mysterious about me not paying you any attention? I DONT LIKE YOU! IDIOT!
and i don't want anyone to tell me this doesn't happen because if you say that you're gaslighting me.. it HAPPENS
anyway.. i guess the jist of what i'm saying is.. with each day that passes i feel less and less "flawed" as i see more and more that i am who i am supposed to be.. its not ME that's in the wrong, it's not me who is chasing women away.. it's women and their short-bus "logic" that causes them to not even be in place to be marriage material
they are the ones killing their own babies
they are the ones smoking cigarettes
they are the ones getting pumped and dumped
they are the ones who are vindictive
they are the ones who think respecting their man is beneath them
they are the ones having friends with benefits
they are the ones who think being "educated" makes them a good woman
they are the ones throwing away their own purity
they are the ones squandering their value
they are the ones becoming single moms
they are the ones in the clubs with no clothes on
they are the ones who have no logic
they are the ones listening to song after song about fornication
they are the ones wasting their youth
they are the ones using foul language
they are the ones with the jezebel spirit
they are the ones lying
they are the ones who don't listen
they are the ones who think male attention is equivalent to male love
they are the ones who initiate divorce
they are the ones getting stds
they are the ones who are sneaky and deceptive
they are the ones who walk in self preservation as opposed to integrity
they are the ones knowingly sharing men
for years we men who are willing to commit and marry have wrestled with ourselves and with our lives, trying to make sense of our existence.. trying to make sense of why women don't like us the way we like them
the burden of change has always been on us
"make the woman happy" they told us.. "do for her" they said.. "sacrifice yourself"
and we have tried to do these things but we have come to realize that we are the only ones trying.. women aren't meeting us halfway.. how do i know?
because if you mention anything a man wants out of a woman, you will immediately be gaslighted by any woman within earshot.. she will say your standards are too high and she will really genuinely try to argue you down with GUSTO
"why should i cook your food?"
"why shouldn't i be a slut?"
"why shouldn't i get a tattoo? ITS MY BODY!"
"why should i be a mother when i want to be a career woman?"
"why should i take your last name?"
"why should i support you in your endeavors? i'm not your cheerleader"
"i can dress however i want!"
women want love from men but women don't want to submit to men
i see it time and time and time again.. its just reality.. actually- submission is like the biggest cussword to modern women.. it is way worse than the b-word at this point
but it's gotten to where men are tired of it.. we absolutely ADORE women but we are waking up collectively because we are tired of them having extremely high standards for us but they don't live up to even the smallest standards that we have for them
my last g/f wouldn't even stop rolling her eyes at me.. do u know how easy it is to not roll your eyes? like you would treat a CHILD with more courtesy than to do that to them.. but modern women can't even grant us men even that type of rudimentary respect
modern women are just largely useless filth and i hope men everywhere stop putting up with it.. i know i am done dealing with it
they can figure themselves out at this point because i'm tired of it.. like i said at the beginning of this.. i'm tired of getting the opposite of what i'm supposed to get
i show love and receive contempt
i ignore a woman and somehow i get her full commitment without ever asking for it
i am tired of it.. i'm tired of all the puzzling head games they play.. i'm tired of the disrespect.. i'm tired of them questioning all forms of decency.. i'm tired of them not valuing things they are supposed to value.. i'm tired of them loving things they are supposed to hate.. i'm just plain tired of women and their crap
so all in all.. i'm done trying to figure women out and i hope all other men get to this point as well
it's their turn, they can figure out why our backs are turned against them.. and they can start by looking in the mirror and trying to decipher why there is a whole scumbag staring back
i'm sure i have said this before but i want to say it again quickly for emphasis
we as men do not have to physically see good women for us to have hope to receive good women
if you are a christian remember the bible says if you delight in the Lord then He will give you the desires of your heart
it doesn't say "if you can see the desires of your heart you can have them" or "if the circumstances are favorable then you will get the desires of your heart"
don't forget- shadrach meshak and abednego all saw the fire and said "our God can deliver us and even if He doesn't the fact is He can" ... they didn't look at the fire, they looked at God's ability
remember men, that's how you should look at women.. why do i say this?
because it gets you out of the scarcity mentality that we are always in concerning women and shifts us to the abundance mentality
also, it'll help keep u from holding onto an awful woman... and you will be able to drop a woman if she doesn't roll with your program
we have to stop looking at our surroundings and look at God's ability instead
if we look at our surroundings- it looks bad.. all women are single moms, smokers, they have tattoos, they have foul mouths, they are disrespectful to men, they are promiscuous, they are hard headed, the list goes on
however if we look at God's ability then the forecast is PHENOMENAL because He has the ability to bless us beyond what we can ask or think
remember men, the women you see don't matter.. God's ability is what matters.. He can give you a good woman.. even if He has to create a brand new adult human, He can do it and i know some of you think that sounds crazy but...
Matthew 3:9 "And think not to say within yourselves, We have Abraham to our father: for I say unto you, that God is able of these stones to raise up children unto Abraham."
as you can see, He can make new people if He wants.. so if 100% of women on earth are useless, God can still give you a good wife.. just make sure you do what He is calling you to do and stay in the lane He has for you
i just felt led to say this.. hopefully it helps someone.. it has helped me because its pretty disheartening to see so many awful women in our society who are extremely far from wife material
but knowing God isn't limited by circumstance or surroundings the way we are gives me hope.. i don't have to see examples of good women to believe one can exist.. we don't walk by sight men.. u know what we walk by.. so u don't have to give up all of your hope when it comes to women
i think to some extent i was onto something on my last entry concerning what i said about women energizing men
what became apparent to me is that demonic women and bad women and whores and personality disordered women and harpies or whatever.. the thing they all have in common is they deplete men
again- remember in the bible God made women a suitable helper for men.. that's their first and main job
what i'm saying is.. women are supposed to bless a man.. they are supposed to energize him and help to stabilize him even more than what he is already
so when a woman uses her feminine energy to deplete men of their energy and resources and destabilize men.. she is essentially doing the opposite of her calling from God
she is working for the enemy
even in my last relationship i received that energy boost because its pretty much innate and built into men's dna to receive that from a beautiful woman.. however over time my being was being chipped away more and more by her incessant complaints and demands that had more to do with her dysfunction than my lack of love/care
the good energy started to become bad energy.. the shift mostly came when i stopped being able to trust her deep down
like i remember for example she accidentally sent me a text once that sounded like she was going on a date with someone.. then when she realized she sent it to me she said she was sending the text to a female friend
when i started to see things like that, i also began to feel a shift.. essentially the whole energy surrounding her, and the "relationship" we had changed for me
a good woman will give a man that natural boost with her presence and NOT REVOKE IT with her nagging, complaining, bad attitude, harsh words, promiscuity, willful ignorance, deception, or anything else.. because she would be- say it with me now
anyway.. i hope i got across what i was trying to say here
the jist is that i've realized there is a natural blessing/energy that a man gets from the presence of a beautiful woman.. and a woman can enhance that and surrender it to the man (the way she is supposed to) and bless him immensely.. or she can actually take it the other way and use it against the man and turn her blessing/energy into a curse/depletion for the man
and if the latter is the case then the man is better off alone
hence my solo life
this is just me thinking outloud.. so skip if u want
have u ever sat down and tried to make a plan?
the weird thing about making a plan is that as soon as you sit down to make your plan its like your plan is done in 5 seconds and the plan then becomes a task
like say you have a plan to get a specific job
well if the job requires a certain degree then your plan will say "go to school for such and such degree" and then you do that for like the next 4 years
that's what's so weird about plans its like your plan takes all of 5 seconds to figure out and then you may find yourself working on it for the next 5 yrs
u might not even feel like you're accomplishing anything unless you make a lot of little plans along the way
with that said.. i guess we should make long term as well as short term plans
that way we have overarching purpose as well as little wins and little encouraging things along the way
when i sat down to write this entry i was thinking "why am i going to even bother writing this?"
however now i actually feel motivated to do better on short term plans
as i type this i feel like wow.. i think this is something that's been missing from my life
i feel that i've been pretty good with long term stuff because as a man- that tends to be how we think and approach things.. we think about things from a foundational standpoint.. we think ahead, we think solid foundation.. we think long term (come to think of it.. the other day i stated my goals for 2018 and all of them were long term)
generally, its like.. a man will build a house and a woman will furnish it
so with all that said, maybe i could benefit from making smaller plans sometimes instead of just the big foundational ones.. right now maybe doing more short term intentional plans will help me
and come to think of it.. this might help me with an issue i noticed recently which was.. when i was in my last relationship i noticed i had a lot of energy.. but i've had some struggles with motivation since it ended
i think women naturally energize men.. when i was in that relationship i had so much energy even with all the crap i was dealing with from her deep down having a beautiful woman did something to me.. like it flicked a switch or something... and yeah i was stressed and everything as things got worse between us.. but somewhere along the way i noticed there's some innate thing where like... having a beautiful woman seems to bring a new type of resilience to a man
not having a beautiful woman sort of like... i don't know its like air seeps out of your balloon so to speak.. but the use of small goals may help me to regain some of that
i remember back in 2013 or 14 i started keeping little journals with me to help me sort out my thoughts.. i can probably start keeping those on me again for the sake of mini plans and things
ok well that's all i wanted to bring out
u all take it easy and u should prob get your long term and short term plans poppin also
had to post this.. soooo true.. SO TRUE
I can't even really add anything to it
ok the first thing i want to say is when i say "no one" i don't actually mean "no one" ..i mean most people
when i was in my last relationship some people actually did understand what i was going through.. but the thing is, at some moments you may think a person will or should understand but they won't
these moments can be frustrating
let me explain why these people don't understand where you're coming from
one reason is because of the language we use
for example.. i had this issue where i'd call some people and say something like "my g/f is driving me crazy"
well some people will hear that and feel you
however some people will hear that and think of it only as a generic statement
how often in life do we hear "driving me crazy" as like a figure of speech? i'd say its fairly often
this is where you start to see differences in the people in your life.. because like i said: some people will extract the truth out of your statements and some will just continue to think what you're saying is generic
what i was saying was very real though.. when i was saying my g/f was driving me crazy i meant it FOR REAL, not as a figure of speech.. to the point where, once i found out that "crazy-making" is an actual psychological term, i felt a lot better.. i felt validated in my experience
anyway there are some other things you might say that people may or may not understand.. like what if you say "my girlfriend complains a lot"
some people will really listen and get the totality of the issue
but some people will say something like "well women are harder to please" or "you have to find out what's bothering her" or "you need to be more sensitive"
if you listen to the people telling you to be more sensitive then what will happen is you will not feel validated in your experience and you will be more likely to go back in the relationship and try harder and receive more abuse
like imagine a boxer right.. he goes in the ring and gets straight up pummeled.. like his wife and kids are screaming and crying watching him get destroyed.. then he goes back to his trainer for guidance
its up to his trainer to tell bro the truth.. "maybe u should quit while you're still alive, brah"
but what if his trainer has a vested interest in the fight, or maybe his trainer is just flat out incompetent.. then he may say "he knicked you but you've got him scared.. go back out there and show him whose boss"
when you're in a terrible narcissistic relationship what happens is oftentimes you may seek help but they will be like that incompetent trainer.. when you should run away, they're telling you to get back in there and get beat up even more
there were times when i'd try to explain how my ex did something mean spirited or disrespectful to me and the person i'd talk to would just tell me it was my fault somehow and since i made her feel like disrespecting me in the first place- it was up to me to fix things and by the end of the conversation the person would basically be telling me to buy her something or take her some place nice smh
they were basically telling me to defer to her and reward her bad behavior regardless of how it made me feel or how it affected me
another reason why some people don't understand you're being abused is because they think you're the abuser.. i imagine this happens to men more often than women.. people tend to think men are always trying to harm women somehow.. and so you end up being blamed for problems you haven't caused
think about it like this
imagine trying to tell a feminist your girlfriend hurt your feelings
no matter what you say it will never be accepted and you will always be at fault.. you will never have an unbiased ear if you run your situation by the wrong person
another reason why people won't understand is because of this
unbeknownst to you, many of the things you share with others concerning your relationship are actually things that person has done
like say you call your sister and you say "can you believe this? my girl cheated on me!" you might expect her to be like "wow! that girl is crazy! after all you've done for her she does this!" but instead your sister will be like "oh.. well you guys can work it out, she probably only did it once" or something
and you're on the phone basically speechless wondering why no one seems to understand why you're upset
but again, its because unbeknownst to you- the person you are talking to has been doing whatever it is you're calling out
another reason is because the person is good looking, or has charisma, or is jovial in public or quiet in public
these are somewhat gender specific also
women - good looking
men - charismatic
women - quiet in public
men - jovial in public
if your spouse displays these traits to others- it can be harder for people to believe you when you say they're not good people.. because we tend to think these are good signs and that we should appreciate people who display these types of traits.. they come across as harmless and innocent to those who only see the surface
quick recap on reasons why many people don't understand what its like to be abused by a narcissist or jezebel or person with a personality disorder
- language we use: "she's nuts" "they're driving me insane" "they don't listen to me" "i feel unimportant to them" ...some people can hear what you're saying but some people will only hear what you say as generic statements, and they will tell you to go back in and try harder because "you don't know women, and you need to adjust more" or whatever
- they think you're the abuser or they think you're the one causing the problems in the relationship
- because they're doing whatever is causing you stress... you tell your female friend "my wife never respects me" but your female friend just got done cussing her husband out.. let the bad advice commence
- person you're in a relationship with comes across as harmless or innocent in public because of good looks and/or immediately perceived personality traits and aspects like for women if they come across as quiet and classy and reserved.. or men if they come across as friendly and humorous
so if you find yourself in a situation where you need someone who understands do one of these 3 things
1. pray and talk to the Lord
2. find someone you can actually reliably talk to.. even if they are someone you haven't spoken to in a while.. talking to someone who u know will "get it" is better than the inevitable argument (or gaslighting) that will come from trying to share with someone who doesn't get it
3. GO ONLINE .. there are TONS of videos on youtube that can help you to get through the trauma and give you understanding and perspective and support.. also there are forums and things online so just find people who have been through it already on the net
peaCe and good luck
give me a second to set this up and i'll explain how to make sense of projection
ok in my last relationship my ex kept saying things about me that i didn't understand.. the main thing she said was that i was a narcissist... then after that she said i was a selfish, controlling narcissist who always plays the victim.. she also liked to tell me i "talk in circles" and some other things
the main thing was always that i was a narcissist, and the rest would be cited interchangeably
this was MASSIVELY confusing to me because all i did in that relationship was try to make sure she was safe, make sure she was having a good time, take care of her, listen to her, etc ..so i legitimately had no idea where she was getting this stuff
i remember i'd ask her to give me an example and she'd be like "i don't do examples, you do examples- you need to just listen to me and take it in"
looking back with hindsight being 20/20.. i can see how utterly demonic that was
so i was just extremely confused but over time i would just type things online that i was going through like "women who always argue" "women who don't say thank you" "women who complain all the time" "silent treatment" "phony apologies" "she's never happy" "tells me i'm a narcissist" "disagreeing with everything i say"
over time these search results began to paint a picture
i started learning terminology and personality disorders and the familiar circumstances and situations that arise from being in a relationship with these types of people
one of the main terms that stuck out to me was psychological projection
psychological projection is when a person tells you that you do what they do, or you are who they are
finding out about projection was literally like a eureka moment for me
i finally understood why she kept calling me a narcissist and why she kept saying things about me that had no corresponding examples to go with them
i finally understood why she was always telling me how bad of a person i was even though i did nothing wrong
now.. that was the setup.. here's really what i came here to say
once i realized this.. i still thought it was crazy.. like i still didn't understand why a person would do such a thing.. but i think i found one of the easiest ways to understand projection:
when you think about it in terms of guilt, it makes a lot more sense.. like how many times in life have you seen a person who is guilty- but instead of face their guilt, they just find a way to pass it off on someone else?
"i didn't fart, it was someone else"
"i didn't steal it, it was probably that person over there"
the cheating spouse accuses the faithful spouse of cheating
"yeah i did the crime but only because...." (which is like saying: my hands were tied i HAD to do the crime so i shouldn't be blamed)
all of these things are essentially a lack of accountability and also they are a passing of blame to someone or something else.. because the belief is: "if i make others believe it was them and not me- then i will be free and they will be deemed the bad guy"
this was a constant issue in my last relationship.. i remember (before i knew anything was off about her) saying "you deflect a lot"
and i remember she sort of laughed and kindof agreed, like "oh i do?" but nothing changed.. and looking back- that's also why she always used to say to me "you hear me but you don't HEAR me!" because even THAT was a projection.. deflecting is when people hear you but don't really accept anything you say, they just find a way to throw it back at you.. so she was again telling me that i did what she did
i remember sometimes literally even repeating back to her what she said and she would STILL tell me i didn't hear her.. or she would say something like: "no i didn't say i like chocolate chip cookies, i said i like WARM chocolate chip cookies! you never listen to me!" these types of things are just destabilization tactics
(looking back i can see i was having conversations with demons because sometimes i'd call her out on something it was like she would change tactics.. just going from one annoying accusation to a different one.. like to the point where you never get peace or understanding because you're ALWAYS defending yourslf about something.... imo only demons working through people can effectively do these things to u on a constant basis)
anyway.. i somewhat went on a tangent.. back to what i was saying
if people can't accept responsibility/accountability for their actions, and they pass blame, they are likely to have no personal integrity.. get away from these people
signs are as follows
when they speak they make no sense, they confuse you, you have peace everywhere except around them, they drain you, everyone thinks you're a good person except them, you sense they are angry with you even without them expressing it, they disagree with everything you say (invalidation), they turn all your issues with them around on you somehow
(sidenote on people who turn your issues you have with them back around on you.. my ex did that to me constantly.. i'd say something like "you have an attitude today" and she would come back with "i give what i get" and i'd be like "when did i give you attitude?" and she'd say something like "that's for you to figure out" ...it got to a point where i said to her.. look either i'm the most hypocritical person on planet earth, or you're essentially victim blaming here... of course she said i'm the most hypocritical person on earth smh)
so anyway.. my main point was that when you look at psychological projection through the lens of guilt.. it makes a LOT more sense
before i thought about guilt.. i just could not wrap my head around why a person would tell me that i am who they are
but when you look through the lens of guilt.. it makes perfect sense.. just like how a guilty person wants to pass their guilt off onto someone else
these personality disordered people will attempt to pass off the effects of their psychological trauma onto you
the thought process is kinda like "if i give this to you then its no longer on me" or "if i make you believe you have this problem, i get to see someone else go through what i go through" or "all i have in me to give is pain so i will give it" or "when i give my issues to other people, i feel a moment of relief" or "if i convince them they are the problem, i can pretend i'm not the problem" or "if they are the bad person then they will treat me like the good person thus helping to absolve me of responsibility and negative feelings" or "if i control them and their perception then i can't be hurt by them"
these people emotionally use you.. they are out to use you for their gain.. they only want to destroy you, and i wouldn't say they want to destroy you simply to destroy you, but they want to destroy you to use you as a stepping stone.. this is why they drain you so much- because they are sucking the life out of you for their own benefit.. they want to destroy your confidence, your identity, your sense of self, because they are seeing it like an exchange
just like how people try to pass off their guilt onto others so that another person can be guilty and they can be innocent... these narcissists and jezebels and personality disordered people want to infect you with their insecurity, pain, rejection, hurt, torment, and instability so they can somehow take your security, joy, acceptance, positive outlook etc, and then they can go about their merry way
and you end up sitting there confused and in pain thinking "how could they have done this to me didn't they care about me?" the answer is no.. no part of the interaction was about you.. it was about projecting their nonsense onto someone in an attempt to relieve themselves of some inner issues
that's why its called narcissistic ABUSE
that's also why its commonly said that these people use those who love them as "punching bags"
i remember talking to devon one day and i said to her "there are a LOT of videos on youtube about narcissists and narcissist abuse"
and i was sort of confused as to why there was this HUGE community of people on youtube talking about this
well.. i understand it now.. and its because if you find yourself in a relationship with one of these types of people.. it is confusing, devastating, and there is no closure.. you find yourself just clamoring for answers and understanding as to what just happened in your life
so yeah all in all.. if someone starts telling you that you are something you're not and its negative.. before you start explaining why you're not that thing.. think about if they are projecting onto you and if they are- get away from them because whatever they are saying about you is exactly what they will do to you or put you through sooner or later
i want to point out something that i've noticed about narcissists, jezebels, prideful people, evil people, etc
one thing i've noticed about a lot of people with selfish personality disorders is a lot of them tend to have a belief that deceiving someone is equivalent to being smarter than them
this is a belief that is void of personal integrity
let me give a quick example
say you are walking down the street and a homeless looking person comes up and gives you a sob story and you give him $5
now say that person really isn't homeless and makes good money and has a car parked up the street
he has an opportunity then to have two different beliefs:
1. i am a scumbag for lying to people and taking their spare money for my own benefit
2. i am smarter than all these idiots who give me money because they are too stupid to realize i'm lying to them
narcissists, jezebels, prideful people, and people who just aren't good in general will all take on that 2nd belief
they don't have integrity.. they don't have a place that says "ok i'll fess up" or "ok let me be honest" or anything
what i'm trying to say is.. a deceptive person thinks they are intelligent when they are really just a liar or scumbag
if you are void of personal accountability and integrity then what happens is you don't view a situation as right and wrong you view it as smart and dumb.. this is also why a lot of these people take offense to things that aren't actually offensive.. because that is how they view the world and life and relationships.. they have to have the upperhand or they have to try and "one up" everyone around themselves
they have a very self-centered outlook on life
this doesn't just go for lies and deception it also goes for other negative things
like take stealing for example.. a lot of people who steal things say things like "that woman was stupid for leaving her purse there" or "i outsmarted walmart's security" etc
or even take fornication or adultery for example.. they will say "i got sex because my game is A1" they aren't looking at it from a right/wrong standpoint.. its a pride standpoint.. "i'm smart, i got something i wasn't supposed to have.. so that must mean i'm great"
i think a lot of people are fooled by this sort of thing... me personally though.. i think integrity, humility, and right/wrong are higher virtues
i think instead of saying "i figured out how to scam this person and got over on them because i'm smart" a person should say "i saw how they could be scammed so i covered the breach in security to protect their assets"
what just came to mind here was in the bible where some of noah's children had a different reaction to his nakedness (which i think represents his foolishness)
And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard:
21 And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.
22 And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.
23 And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness.
24 And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.
25 And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.
26 And he said, Blessed be the Lord God of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.
27 God shall enlarge Japheth, and he shall dwell in the tents of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.
are you going to take advantage of people and diss them and puff yourself up with pride? or are you going to see where you could take advantage of someone and say "this person is a child of God and i'm not going to use their vulnerability against them"
narcissists and jezebels and all those types of people will use your vulnerability against you and they won't feel bad.. you won't get an apology when it's all said and done because in their mind, they just "outsmarted" you.. nevermind they lied, they stole, they deceived, they cheated.. in their mind they didn't do you wrong, they bested you.. this is why when you expect an apology from these people they act offended or aloof.. because to them its like you're trying to take their "win" away
these types of people will only apologize as a last resort and even then they don't mean it- they only do it to get some type of mercy when they are completely exposed and subjected to punishment
the other day someone told me about a woman who cheats on her husband
the woman had hickies and instead of saying "ok i'm caught" she said "i'll just tell my husband its a skin problem, he's a dummy"
in that you can see she has replaced right and wrong with smart and stupid..... this thought process absolves these people of any sense of accounability.. it is utterly void of integrity
so keep your eyes open.. if you see a person who operates this way... steer clear
"successfully" lying, deceiving, cheating, or stealing is not a form of intelligence.. satan was the first sinner and look where he ended up
my goals this year have pretty much been accomplished
my goals were to finish the master's degree program and get in shape
while i'm not really in shape, and i wanted to be further along, i can't really complain because i have been going to the gym.. it's not like i've just been letting my membership collect dust like i have in the past
2014 was amazing
2015 was alright
2016 was phenomenal
2017 has been good
here are the cons of 2017
-dealing with an awful relationship that sucked the life out of me in various ways
-having that awful relationship end abruptly with no closure whatsoever
-not getting any new clothes (for various reasons... but this has to change soon because this has become a bigger problem over time)
here are the pros of 2017
-got a ps4 pro and ps plus (horizon zero dawn was my fave game of the year)
-got a master's degree
-finished furnishing my apartment
things i've learned in 2017
note: i've known pretty much all of this already but it has become solidified this year
-women in general take kindness, patience, and caring for weakness
-women in general abuse all forms of "power" they receive and they think men are wired the same way which is why they always think men are trying to oppress them... but men aren't wired that way.. if you give a man power he uplifts and blesses his family.. if you give a woman power she uses it to fight the man
-if God doesn't set up your relationship then your relationship will fail so the main thing you need to seek is God's will concerning relationships
-you need to pray more for God's will in your life (because it is perfect) than you pray for things you desire.. and pray that His will overrides your desire.. (i prayed for a woman and i received my last relationship, however was it God's will? ..i think that's where i went wrong, putting my desire over God's will)
-there are people who are just not good people.. there are people who live and project a lie... because i have been sheltered i haven't really been much exposed to this sort of thing but looking back- my ex was not a good person and was not genuine or honest or sincere or anything.. she was a waste of time sent to me to break me down, and make me bitter.. the bible tells us to remain unstained by the world and i honestly believe she was sent to stain me, but it didn't work because God had mercy on me and because He gave me a great group of people who pray for me
-many if not most awful people have great looks and/or charisma.. which goes against our childhood disney programming where nice people are good looking and mean people are unattractive
-personality disorders and wicked spirits are like the same thing just one is described in a scientific way and the other is described in a spiritual way.. both sides can help to give you a full understanding of what you're dealing with and why
-people judge you based on your appearance.. again this is something i've already known but this idea has been more solidified this year.. if you are a genuine type of person you may be the type to sort of have a desire to rebel against this notion to some extent, however if you can use peoples' perception to your advantage why not.. if perception is everything then what does that make image? and of course i don't fully subscribe to that but i guess we are forced to live among people who do
-when you were in school paying for someone to do your work was called cheating.. when you're an adult its just capitalism.. it can be good to find ways to pass the burden of a task to someone else (which brings me to another one)
-we are in many ways taught in our society how to work for the benefit of others however there are ways to work for your own benefit.. the more you mentally disconnect from the matrix, the crazier you look and the better off you are
-peace is paramount as a guide for the direction of your life
-everything is essentially easy if you take self (and how 'self' doesn't want to do it) out of the equation
my favorite music this year was shoegaze.. i didn't get deep into any music but i definitely listened to shoegaze more than anything
whirr, hideous towns, miniatures, daysleepers, etc
i love the feeling i get from shoegaze.. it feels so "right" to me
my favorite show this year was probably curb your enthusiasm.. i remember when i was dealing with my ex g/f i just started to feel like i was losing myself or something.. its hard to explain.. like i just didn't feel comfortable being myself anymore and i wanted to feel comfortable again, so i bought a curb your enthusiasm dvd because i knew that show would remind me of myself and i would have some moments to sit back and laugh and relax
i really like that show i see a lot of myself in larry david .. i love his rants about mundane things and his awkward run-ins.. and his facial expressions crack me up
best and worst days this year:
i feel like the best day was graduation day.. it was amazing, we ate at monell's and it was just a fun day all around.. peeps were congratulating me and i was glad to be done with school and happy that my parents were proud of me
the worst day was probably when my ex said "don't call me, don't text me, don't email me" etc.. that really hurt.. not being with her as a couple was fine cuz all we did was argue and i didn't think she was trustworthy.. but saying u never want to talk to me again just seemed overboard to me.. it was like a confirmation that everything i did was for nothing.. every date, every gift, every compliment, every prayer, every call, everything.. every last bit of it was for nothing
my goals for 2018 are as follows:
-get some new clothes
-get a higher paying job
-get a house
-finish getting in shape ("finish" meaning get to ideal build and stay there)
-i want to make sure to stay after at church instead of leave all the time
-i also want to learn how to make money outside of the cubicle thing
anyway.. 2017 has been good..
God has kept me another year.. He has kept me safe and He has kept me afloat financially.. also He has kept my family and friends which i'm very grateful for
that's pretty much it for now peeps.. stay fly and i'll holla
i was thinking about women and why they like "bad boys" and i was also thinking about bad boys and why they appear to prosper and a few scriptures came to mind (note i took out verse 15 and 16 here, as they weren't as relevant as the rest for what i'm saying)
12 Behold, these are the ungodly, who prosper in the world; they increase in riches. 13 Verily I have cleansed my heart in vain, and washed my hands in innocency. 14 For all the day long have I been plagued, and chastened every morning.
17 Until I went into the sanctuary of God; then understood I their end. 18 Surely thou didst set them in slippery places: thou castedst them down into destruction. 19 How are they brought into desolation, as in a moment! they are utterly consumed with terrors. 20 As a dream when one awaketh; so, O Lord, when thou awakest, thou shalt despise their image. 21 Thus my heart was grieved, and I was pricked in my reins. 22 So foolish was I, and ignorant
ok so in here david says the ungodly people go unpunished and they are getting richer.. he is saying "wow i'm doing right but it doesn't profit me"
then he goes on to basically say God allowed him to get a glimpse of their end and it was so bad that he instantly felt dumb for even thinking the wicked prosper at all
before i continue with what i want to say i want to share another scripture
"Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience"
this^ is found in ephesians
what it's saying is basically that some people live according to the way of the world, and they do what the enemy wants them to do
so basically here's what i want to say
i have realized the reason why women like bad boys and the reason why bad boys prosper is because they are following the course of this world
think about it like this.. these men do wrong and it pays off for them.. what does that remind you of?
in what other arena do you see people rewarded for doing wrong?
the one that immediately comes to mind for me is stealing
people who steal do wrong and receive a reward for it, in the form of their stolen spoils.. so what i'm saying is.. these men who ravish these women are operating by the evil world system.. anytime you do wrong and are rewarded for it, you are operating in the world's system of wickedness and folly.. and just like a person who steals and profits from stealing.. these men are doing wrong by not honoring marriage and they are receiving the spoils of such behavior (a woman's time, attention, deference, and sex)
no believer should envy these people because david says their end is terrible.. they will be brought into desolation and utterly consumed with terrors in a moment.. in my opinion, "in a moment" means they won't have a clue as to what's about to happen when it happens and there will likely be no escape
to back up this idea let me use another scripture.. this time from hebrews:
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
this scripture is basically saying sex in the context of marriage is fine but outside of marriage it is wrong and those who do these things will be judged... and one thing to note is this.. this scripture is actually extra scary because it doesn't say "will be judged" it makes it a point to say "God will judge" ...meaning, He will handle you Himself up close and personal..... meaning He takes marriage seriously and if we take pleasure in violating it and don't repent and turn away from that then the forecast doesn't look too good for us (to put it EXTREMELY lightly)
so now let me continue
sometimes i look around and i get irritated when i see bad guys (meaning guys who just want sex) prospering with women.. they just come through and netflix and chill, or do the friends with benefits, or they have the no strings attached situationship thing going on
and what happens is these guys are having sex with all the women and ruining them.. they are half the reason these women are not wife material.. the other half of the reason is the women themselves
so i see these things and i get irritated, but when i think about all these scriptures i've shared.. my mind changes a bit
i don't get as upset when i know there is an expiration date for all of this world's nonsense
you all have to understand i want a wife and time and time again, i see a woman doesn't want me because she doesn't like good dudes, or she overlooks me because she just had sex with her "friend" the night before, or she just takes my kindness for weakness, or she likes to be treated badly and craves the drama, or whatever.. what i'm saying is i just feel like their minds are warped (again, they walk according to the course of this world)
there is just nearly NO wife material for a man who wants to love a woman and hold her in high regard, and it is at times very bothersome to me
i mean i've literally heard women say they have sex with bad guys and just let good guys take them on dates
i've literally heard single women with kids say "no guy has ever taken me out before" ..smh if no guy has taken you out how/why do you have kids?
i've heard women say "guys wanted to make sure i wasn't a virgin before having sex with me so they knew i wouldn't get attached" ..which just means she has sex not only outside of marriage but also outside of ANY type of relationship.. i mean its even worse than prostitution because women today don't even get anything out of it and in many cases the women are the breadwinners to these men! these women are giving these men rides places, or letting these men drive their cars, these women are giving these men money, these women are doing job applications for these men, etc.. there is no exchange they just give themselves to these men who blatantly use them.. if i say: "i don't want you to get attached to me" i am also saying "I DONT CARE FOR YOU"
so how/why is that rewarded with sexual intercourse? ..someone says i don't care for you and so you respond by giving them your most intimate parts
but women don't even care, they think this type of setup is exciting and fun and that's apparently what matters to them.. it doesn't matter that they are aging and childless and without proper support or love or committment, they just give themselves to these men.. meanwhile i'm over here with a lot of genuine love to give a woman but i can't find a woman who is worth her salt
like this is what this world is... its full of women who reward bad behavior from men and punish good behavior from men
they say there's what's called an 80/20 rule which means 80% of the women are having sex with 20% of the men
stats like those don't sound too good for a man looking for a wife out of this bunch
but when you look at it from a spiritual standpoint.. you can see that they are just on the enemy's team
they play for the dark side
think about it.. this is EXACTLY what the enemy wants
it seems like most of the pretty women are useless whores.. and when i say that.. i am not saying it in a derogatory way.. i mean like they are useless because they are not wife material they are no good to a man (and women's first job according to the bible is to be useful to a man.. the bible calls women a "suitable helper").. and they are whores because they are literally giving themselves to their chosen "buddy" all the time
and all these whoremonger men who are there for women's sexual pleasure all have multiple women and pay for abortions and they also ruin relationships.. both potential and current, by facilitating fornication and infidelity
when u look at our society spiritually you can just see the enemy has our society where he wants it in many ways... if you were the enemy wouldn't you want to take all the pretty women and make them whores? wouldn't you want all the good guys who are willing to marry to be without suitable wives? wouldn't you want men who are over 6ft tall with 6 pack abs to be whoremongers?
the reason i point out looks is because looks in our society tends to represent value and influence
of course the enemy wants all those people who are highly valued and naturally influential to be working for himself... its the same with money, of course the enemy wants the greediest and most arrogant people to have money.. while he wants saints and believers who refuse to step on people to get to the top to be broke.. and i'm not saying this is what it is across the board in our society.. but i'm saying a lot of what we are seeing today- if you look at it spiritually, you can see it's what the enemy wants
God's way would be like- all women have one husband and all men have one wife.. this would promote committment, family, stability, and also it would maximize everyone's chances of being married and having a loving wife or husband
however in this climate you have men like me who want to be husbands but who can't get a woman out of the vise grips that are these continual fornication-filled "friend" or "buddy" relationships
anyway.. my main point was that what we are seeing today if you look at it spiritually- it's looking like exactly what the enemy wants
and so here are the takeaways
1. what we are seeing today is a spiritual problem.. people are yielding their bodies to do the work of the enemy
2. there is no need to envy these people because if they continue in their ways they will surely meet a bitter end
3. since this is a spiritual problem we men should deal with it spiritually instead of naturally.. so what i mean is.. overlook natural circumstance and situation and instead operate in faith.. meaning even if you haven't seen a good woman in 5 yrs.. put your faith in God that He can bring you a good woman
remember shadrach, meshak, and abednego
if ye worship not, ye shall be cast the same hour into the midst of a burning fiery furnace; and who is that God that shall deliver you out of my hands?
16Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, answered and said to the king, O Nebuchadnezzar, we are not careful to answer thee in this matter. 17If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king. 18But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up.
they saw the circumstance and the situation.. they were full aware they could be thrown in the fire but they said "Our God is able to deliver us"
so men, let's attack this problem spiritually also.. we see the circumstances, we see the situation, we see the whores, we see the whoremongers, we see the feminism, we see the disrespect, we see the "i don't need a man," we see the fornication, we see the abortions, we see the cheating, we see the lies and deceit
but let's take heart.. let's take refuge in our mighty God above and let's defiantly say:
"Despite what it looks like, my God is able to give me a good wife.. and if He doesn't, i still will not take part in this world's backwards and perverted system."
let's take comfort in God's ability, if He gives us a wife, great- if He doesn't then He didn't see fit, but the fact is HE IS ABLE.. because He is the same God who delivered shadrach, meshach, and abednego from the blazing furnace they were thrown into.. let's rest and take refuge in that fact
so with or without a good woman by our sides... men, let us stand tall and walk forward with purpose!
THE FACT IS WE ARE ON THE RIGHT TEAM AND NO MATTER WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, VICTORY IS OURS!!!!!