lately i am a wreck as far as peace of mind goes.. i keep thinking about my ex g/f like i don't know whats wrong with me i feel worse in the past week or two than i did a 2 or 3 months ago when she actually stopped talking to me
i don't know what happened to me.. it got to where i actually started wondering if i did something to curse myself.. i've seen documentaries where people sometimes say that music can be used to curse people (look up hell's bells documentary and john todd if interested) and i started to wonder if something i listened to caused me to fall into this weird state of like depression or whatever i'm dealing with i feel like i'm going crazy from the inside out.. i don't know how to deal with the way i feel.. like i still think my ex g/f was gorgeous and theres a part of me that misses having that beauty in my life but she was just a crazy maniac who didn't show me any respect i hate that she has this effect on me months after we stopped speaking.. like i really don't know what to do.. i want to numb the way i feel i'm so tired of feeling this way.. like hating women but ultimately being unable to stop thinking about them constantly today a girl gave me an amazing compliment.. possibly the best one i've ever gotten.. she said something about how i'm the perfect guy and i'm who most women want etc etc.. it was great to hear that... if only my ex g/f felt the same that would've been nice, i mean i tried so hard in that relationship but ultimately the whole thing was my fault.. i never should have went on a dating site smh.. seriously i'm not kidding when i say that.. i legitimately should've never been on there.. and i paid the price.. sometimes i think i have some of the worst luck with women because when i do something wrong with them i feel like the payback is just RUTHLESS hopefully i'll feel better tomorrow
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James Arthurnew speak, true speak Archives
December 2017
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