i wanted to talk about what i've been dealing with mentally.. ok if u read my post from yesterday u know i've been going through a lot mentally lately which is like.. a residue or after effect of my ex g/f
i was listening to some preaching today in my headphones at work and i heard exactly what i have been dealing with basically what the pastor was describing the characteristics of women with the jezebel spirit and two of those characteristics are bitterness and vindictiveness he was saying the bible tells us to "be not unequally yoked with unbelievers" it also says it is wrong to tolerate the jezebel spirit in your life now.. if you don't take heed- and u rub shoulders with someone you are unequally yoked with, or you tolerate a woman with the jezebel spirit (these are both things i did by being with my ex) then what happens is some of their negative characteristics and traits can get on you and in you this explains a lot because i found myself walking around dealing with negative emotions that i don't typically deal with at all.. mainly like unforgiveness, vindictiveness, and bitterness i've been walking around with these weird negative emotions and i've been praying against them a lot.. and i guess the Lord is letting me know where all of this came from.. it came from me dealing with a person i never should have dealt with.. u lay down with dogs u come up with fleas basically i am not kidding i have been praying against bitterness and unforgiveness quite a bit because i have felt these things having a grip on me recently and they haven't just disappeared after one prayer like things i typically deal with.. this stuff has like really been on me.. and i also think these negative emotions have been getting deeper into me to a point where they mutate into mental pain and anguish and varying forms of fear, frustration and confusion when i was with my ex, i would see her mood swings and i would see how she acted sometimes and i would say to myself "i would hate to be her because she has some serious issues" .. like i of course liked her but i was also able to see she had legitimate issues from whatever happened in her past... i wanted to help fix the problems but i couldn't do anything.. if i ever tried to help she lashed out at me.. but i realize that wasn't HER per se.. it was more of the spirit in her the only part she plays in the situation is that she is deceived and she thinks that that spirit makes her stronger.. so this is why it remains there.. what i mean by this is like.. i'll give a few examples.. ok one day i explained to my ex who jezebel was.. she thought jezebel was a promiscuous female.. i told her.. no- jezebel is a woman in the bible who was controlling and wanted to take authority that wasn't hers.. she wanted to occupy positions that weren't for her to have and by any means.. and she had hatred for male authority... my ex g/f literally said "she sounds like my kind of woman" and at the time it sounded like a joke but there's a lot of truth said in jest.. as time has passed- i look back on that and i don't think it was a joke i think it was like a red flag... another example is this.. she was like pro feminism.. it wasn't like she was really rocking with feminism, like with their books and marching in the streets and burning bras.. but feminist ideals today are basically the default of society and she was DEFINITELY rocking with that so i said all that to say... if u are proud of the same thing that oppresses and harms you, then how can u get it out of your life? God resists the proud its like racist people oftentimes remain racist because of their own pride and they feel that racism is good for them because putting others down makes them feel better about themselves so again, my point was.. if u applaud jezebel- which is the spirit running (scratch that) ruining (that's better) your life, then how can u ever get free of it? if you applaud feminism, which was created by the jezebel spirit.. the same movement that spearheads abortions, taking women out of the home and putting them in the workplace, making women compete with their husbands as opposed to cooperate, the same spirit that tells women being a slut is something to be proud of... if u applaud these things.. then THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO TO HELP YOU so i deceived myself into thinking "if i'm more patient, she will come around" "she offended the crap out of me but i will be lenient because she will grow with time" "i will be nice to her and show her i care and she will follow" all of that was false.. if a person likes the spirit then they won't consider anything against that spirit to be "help".. they will actually attack u.. its to a point where if u say "babe u don't have to work i'll take care of you" that woman will actually attack u and tell u you're a male chauvenist who wants to control her and she would rather die than be barefoot and pregnant that is literally how stupid this spirit has made women.. u can tell a woman something good and she will attack you so there was nothing i could do to help her i deceived myself and lately i have been stuck with the residue of her dysfunction.. some amount of that nonsense got on me or in me and i have been trying to shake it all off ever since i believe the Lord has shown me that i'm ok and that i prob just need to keep praying and keep Him first and stay around good people until i fully recover.. but it has definitely been a real struggle up to this point for me so anyone reading this- please take it from me.. BE NOT UNEQUALLY YOKED WITH UNEBELIEVERS.. my ex g/f was a christian but her mind needed to be renewed and she needed to be delivered from some of the crap she has inside of her.. guys please don't make the mistakes i made.. if you see a beautiful girl but she acts uncouth.. LET HER GO i'ma leave with this quote i saw recently if you put a woman first in your life, she'll make sure to put you last in hers peaCe
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James Arthurnew speak, true speak Archives
December 2017
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