today is the first day in a long time where i opened my windows.. it feels and smells really good outside
i've been doing a lot of thinking i was having so many thoughts and dreams last night it was crazy i actually had a dream last night that seemed pretty telling... i don't want to go into too much detail but basically i think someone has been doing things they aren't supposed to do which is fine- its none of my business however i am just interested to see if my dream was accurate... i think it is but i suppose only time will tell i wrote the dream down and put it away in my kitchen cabinet.. last time i had a feeling like the one i had last night- i was right dreams are becoming a bigger deal to me as i try to get closer to the Lord i had a dream last year that i coughed up my own tongue.. and my tongue was filthy and dirty and gross looking.. and i looked at it and said "that's not mine" and somehow i had another tongue i told my pastor about it and he said it signified the Lord getting rid of my tongue full of vile sentiments and cursing and replacing it with a new one it was crazy to hear because he was right.. i remember last year i was cussing a lot- like to the point where i was doing it on accident or without thinking.. i was mostly cussing when i was alone, but around people i typically was not doing that but like if u had caught me in traffic, i would probably be cussing so i started to pray that the Lord would help me, and one day last yr i had that tongue dream and recorded it but i didn't know what it meant but somewhere along the line last yr i realized i wasn't cussing anymore.. i was like self editing or just not feeling the need to say bad words at all and i kinda knew the Lord healed me but i hadn't really put much thought into it.. so when i finally got the dream recording out (i was recording them in my phone) and told my pastor- and he told me the meaning, i was really surprised and encouraged i realized the Lord truly answered my prayers but i also realized i hadn't really been paying any attention to the Lord's voice its really encouraging to see that the Lord speaks but we overlook His voice a lot so i am hoping to look more into my dreams i still have this phone full of dreams i recorded so i will possibly run a few more of those by my pastor to see what he says ++++++++++++++++++++++ i realize i really have two "modes" in my life.. a mode where i'm relationship minded, and my other mode is where i am "writing minded" ... the relationship mode is when i'm tuned into a female being writing minded is when i'm alone and i'm writing in my website, or i go back to doing rhymes, etc what i like about being in relationship mode is i like the ability to be around a pretty woman what i like about being in writing mode is it is peaceful and i get to say whatever i want without having to hear what i deem to be a stupid opinion ++++++++++++++++++++++ speaking of stupid opinions i honestly think women are like men minus logic, so a lot of the things they say make no sense for example a woman might say something like "don't apologize for what u did, apologize for the way u made me feel" that statement makes no sense.. how am i supposed to apologize for how YOU feel? ur saying i'm innocent, but u feel bad so i have to apologize? how about no, because that's a personal issue that has nothing to do with me or a woman might say "don't apologize, just do better" but then later she will say "you never acknowledge what you do wrong" like they don't realize how those statements don't coincide.. do u want me to apologize and acknowledge, or not? i wouldn't say ALL women don't make sense, but i would say that knowing a woman superficially and knowing them intimately are two different things women seem smart and like they have things together when u see them at school or at work, but when u know them on a deeper level, you see that they a lot of times have serious issues that they don't know how to fix ++++++++++++++++++++++ one thing that has been on my mind lately has been that bible verse that says he who keeps his life will lose it and he who loses his life will gain it i am really wanting to lose my life so that i can gain the one the Lord has for me i have noticed the Lord speaks to us more than we tend to realize i want to lose all the distractions i have in my life and gain more of the Lord's voice and leading ++++++++++++++++++++++ one thing i've noticed about women is this: women these days can leave a man and have another man in 5 seconds so this leaves men in a state where if we don't do what women want us to do then that woman will leave us and the whole relationship will be over women say they want a man to "stand up to" them.. however how do u stand up to someone who will leave u as soon as you put your foot down? like say u had a kid right.. and say u told this kid to go to bed and the kid said no, i'm not going to bed and if u make me go to bed i will run away and u'll never see me again ... now think about if this child was legit serious.. how would u deal with that? losing your child would be devastating.. its like a battle u can't win.. u want them to act right, but if they legit have another family who will take them in, what can u do? to me- that's how women are.. like u can't properly take your role as a man when women are not willing to be taught or led.. we hear this from women all the time "he's trying to control me" "you're acting like you're my father" etc.. they don't want you as a man to be in authority.. they want to fight u, but the battle is not a fair fight because she can leave you at any moment for another guy does anyone have a rebuttal to this? to me- this is what is causing men to put up with a lot from women.. because we know they can go on their instagram or on their plenty of fish profile and pick any one of 100 men and get what it is they want without a second thought we men want women, but we don't want women who are not following us properly.. or who are not respecting us properly... but women have no incentive to do that anymore
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James Arthurnew speak, true speak Archives
December 2017
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