kb did the beat
it obviously says "your smile is like the shining sun, it warms me" but i'm saying "i think i need a shining sign to warn me" here are the lyrics: life's like a paradise of ugly women/ ain't nothin pretty brah, just admit it/ I'd be lyin if I told you I love to live it/ but.. just forget it cuz I'm stuck up in it/ think my life is a piece of cake? Complete mistake/ you ain’t thinkin straight/ there’s a lot on my plate that I freakin hate/ like the fact that I ain’t got cream or cake/ cuz when it comes to the cash, I can’t keep it straight/ plus my social life is just bleak and lame/ friends leave and stray, playin keep away/ they pull their phones out and delete my name/ I guess nobody wanna speak to James/ what else do I really even need to say?/ feel like i need a change, a retreat from pain/ don't wanna be awake, can I sleep today?/ I think I need a shining sign.. to warn me not to fall off the ledge, cuz its all in my head I think I need a shining sign..to warn me don't be lost in depression, God has a lesson if u think I'm on fleek with the swag- its bull crap/ my self esteem is a thing of the past like good rap/ I've had everything except happiness/ women have everything except classiness/ and I'm tired of these skanks tryna step to me/ cuz half yall look like shrek to me/ don't pester me or stand next to me/ i won't pay for what another man gets for free/ my life is like one long embarrassment/ and I deserve a trophy just for barin it/ a comedy of errors it's hilarious/ except its not a joke and I'm very pissed/ numb to life I’m a zombie.. livin but I’m not alive/ Going through a lot B, but still I keep it all inside/ Everything they taught me, feelin like its all a lie/ failure comes to mock me, guess I need to fall to fly/ I think I need a shining sign.. to warn me not to lose my wits over stupid ish I think I need a shining sign..to warn me just get up and fly don't give up and die women like me as much as a creepy gynecologist/ so don't ask me why I'm not an optimist/ lacking confidence, packing awkwardness/ i hate the world so.. come on apocalypse/ (bring it on) I'm like a, brave nerd with a heart of glass/ and women don’t want any part of that/ livin in the darkest black, life is largely wack/ Cuz all I do is wake up, fart and fap/ And I don’t really know how to market that/ But honesty is the heart of rap/ and my cards are stacked, cuz my art is fact/ so I hope yall really like cathartic tracks/ future outcome? the deal isn't sealed/ so there's no use tryin to chill in the field/ self destruct? ..think I will on the real/ please punch me in the face so I can feel how I feel/ I think I need a shining sign.. to warn me don't fold yet, keep hope on deck I think I need a shining sign..to warn me it only hurts for a while, be a nerd with a smile
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concerning the song
i finally got the recordings and outstanding lyrical alterations finished all i have to do now is edit some of the sound and some of the ad-libs i'm going to give shout-outs kb, devon, jacquetta, david, ben, tia, j-trap thanks to all these peeps for encouraging me to rap again.. i really appreciate it.. i am so busy with work that sometimes i feel like i divorced rap but someone usually will tell me they like a song or they want me to make something new and it helps me feel good about trying to make time again today i finally i finished that song i talked about 2 weeks ago
i recorded it and everything, however it was a rough draft recording.. i will need more time to get it where i want it to be i'm using the demo of ableton.. one day i think i'd like to get the full version i wrote some lines for this song specifically and also some of the lines were just compiled from fragments i wrote in my phone and things like that i actually have a lot i can post on the site though, not just the song i have a few audios i've done (talks/advice) i also have 2 entries i've been meaning to get out and i also have a video i did which was a tour of my apartment hopefully i will be able to get all this stuff out for everyone to see i sit on a lot of stuff.. at any given moment i probably have at least 4 things i can post anyway keep it fresh peeps i was looking on plenty of fish again (not dating, just bored online) and wow smh.. i ran across this bio
look at how masculine this woman sounds here's what she wrote: I pay the bills while I complete a program in college. I'm open with my opinions and intentions, guarded with my feelings. My friends will all tell you I was intimidating at first but kind and fiercely loyal once they got past my walls. I'm independent and assertive, so if you're looking for someone shy and quiet who you can open car doors for on the way to church on Sunday, look elsewhere. I'm easy-going, dry and sarcastic. I'd much rather sit out on a patio eating and drinking with friends while we make fun of each other than some fancy pre-planned activity. I like indie rock, ethnic food, road trips and concerts. Yoga, Pilates, hiking, people watching. My expectations for a partner are simple and reasonable. I just want someone loyal and dependable who makes me feel comfortable in my own skin and can make me laugh my ass off. dude tell me she doesn't sound like a man she said "i pay the bills" lmao.. i mean that was the very first thing she said... like this is a dating site why are u starting off by saying "i pay the bills" you sound like a man who is trying to get his wife to shutup "open with opinions but guarded with feelings" ..you're a man "intimidating" ..you're a scary man "independent and assertive" ..you are an arrogant man she makes it a point to say she is not shy or quiet... which to me is like saying "f*ck being meek!" or "f*ck being sweet, nice, and cute!" or "I'M A STRONG MAN!" LMAO and i don't mind a woman opening her own car door, but the way she said that made me feel like if i tried something like taking a heavy grocery bag from her, or calling her "sweetheart" she would rip me a new ass right there on the spot she sounds like some kind of drill sargeant lmao dry and sarcastic? women don't seem to get this but men don't like sarcastic women.. most women who describe themselves as such A. think they are smarter than they really are (self amused) and B. seem to think insults are the same as humor ..............smug, self amused, "sarcastic" women in the dating pool could be an entry in itself but let's keep it movin she'd rather drink with friends than do a fancy pre-planned activity.. i'm not really mad at her for this but again- reading this the way she wrote it just reiterates how masculine she is.. i mean each sentence makes her more and more repulsive i mean if men and women are ying and yang and opposites attract.. let me tell you.. there would be no polarity there.. this woman is a MAN wow... YUCK! who is your fave person in the bible and why?
i think my fave might be mordecai from the book of esther i read it and i thought mordecai was madd legit he exhibited integrity, wisdom, and faith that guy really impressed me when it comes to the story itself, it was interesting seeing how God works to bring about change through people but yeah mordecai was cool i like how he held it down and raised up such a good young woman on his own like a real one oh yeah, and the whole anti-feminism thing in there was fresh as well.. how they kicked vashti out for havin an attitude and welcomed esther in cuz she was a good woman and not disrespectful like vashti stupid prideful disrespectful feminists never understand they aren't doing themselves any favors.. all a man really wants is your respect- why is that so hard? and a man being perfect is not a prerequisite to a woman giving him respect.. its like ur parents make mistakes but u still respect them.. u still hold them down and defend them and empathize with them.. why don't modern women do this for their man? lol here i go again anyway.. good story and mordecai seems kinda underrated.. he had a lot of good qualities.. he wasn't a typical warrior type.. he was just a cool dude with integrity on deck and that led him to great success btw i also like solomon.. he might be my second favorite.. the reason for this is because he (is believed to have) written the song of solomon which is just an account of what its like to be in love.. this imo is like the same as what i do when i write lyrics.. i just write about things i've seen or experienced or felt.. so seeing other people do that in the bible sort of validates what i do imo also i relate to his feelings of depression upon pondering the meaning of life.. wisdom is nice but certain things you learn can eat away at you.. not saying i'm wise- but just saying i can relate because sometimes i think deep and its weird because wisdom is good but i feel like it should come coupled with joy or something- like as a reward to the seeker.. however i suppose there is no guarantee of that.. sometimes wisdom, knowledge, and/or understanding can come with a certain 'sting' i ran across this and i just wanted to speak on it ok so someone posted a picture of a lot of nintendo games and their collection is obviously impressive then someone came along and said "its not good to stack cartridges that way" i just wanted to say i hate people like that people who just have nothing positive to say about anything.. have u ever run into a person like that? (and you better not say me, because i know i rant a lot on my website, but in real life i'm way more laid back about everything, i always try to be cool with everyone and encourage people and things like that.. my site is where i just say whatever) but yeah back to what i was saying.. have u ever ran into someone who just refuses to say anything positive? u might be happy about something but if you tell them, then somehow they will rain on your parade.. no matter what it is, they will say something negative like you could hit the lottery and they'd say "you're gnna get f*cked in taxes" i mean they could take the joy out of anything these people disgust me i mean that comment was so stupid.. "its not good to stack them" like how do u even think of saying something like that? it doesn't even make sense- do u really think games that still work after 30 years are somehow not durable enough to be stacked? like thats so retarded but the thing is, you can't talk logic to a person like that- all you can do is recognize them for who they are and get away from them, because if you say something logical then they will say something else negative because somehow their ammo of ignorance never runs out when i come across people like this it really irks me.. i think they are worthless human beings.. kanye did the best song about these people (btw this is the old kanye.. back when he was actually good and cool) he said "they get green on ya when ya get green on em'/ gotta wash ya hands of em, get clean on em/"
real talk i just don't like people who act that way they are unhappy cowards and they expect (and desire) everyone else to be the same hopeless faggot they have become i would love to have this jacket i saw it on the deftones website.. they have some pretty ill merchandise
i make my own sandwich sauce for when i make chicken subs at home
i will share the recipe here i don't have all the measurements and stuff because i just do it by taste and by sight.. so sorry about that however the recipe is simple and probably kinda hard to mess up its 3 ingredients ortega sauce honey mustard and just a little bit of pickle juice my guess is the percentages would look something like this ortega sauce 45% honey mustard 45% pickle juice 10% but really i wouldn't stick to that.. all i do is mix the ortega and the honey mustard until they are like orange, then i put in a dash of pickle juice.. taste-wise you are just looking for the saltiness of the ortega, the sweetness of the honey mustard, and the tangy taste of the pickle juice so that's my recipe peeps its good- i've let a few other people try it and they all say its legit u know what one of my biggest dreams is?
i want to get at least one very large donation to my website like one unexpected large donation.. i have the donate button on the front page at the bottom and no one has ever used it.. AND IM FINE WITH THAT i am 100,000% fine with that.. i am not trying to ask for any money from anyone at all i am just stating a dream of mine i would like one day for someone who has a lot of money to come to my website by chance.. basically stumble over it- and i would like for that person to read something that inspires them a lot and from there they just decide to anonymously give me a lot of money via pay pal lmao i think if that happened just one time i would be not just happy to get the money, but also happy to see that the site somehow paid off i think this site is a labor of love so i don't need money but at the same time a part of me feels like- hey i get on my site and i keep it real about my life and my thoughts and sometimes i think i say things that probably make me look ridiculous.. now where's my trophy for putting myself out there? and not only that, but i maintain it.. i mean from may 2009 up to now.. it is now december 2015.. i have been on here consistently just speaking my mind and maintaining this place i just would like one random person with a lot of money to be inspired by something and just donate a lot of money to me.. and i would like them to be rich so that they wouldn't be burdened by the donation that is one dream i have never shared with anyone.. its just something deep down i would like to see happen what is your unknown dream? one thing i want to talk about is this thing where i keep seeing black men talking about racism in ways that negatively affect themselves
ok i want to give my take on this racism exists however some of these black men need to stop focusing on it so much.. like to give an example, i saw one guy on youtube and he said jobs are "slavery" and he said college is "the white man's school" ok while i will say racism exists and i have seen it both in school and in the workplace, i also feel like you should not indulge it all so much.. to say a job is a slave ship is just not true because people have had jobs all throughout time.. africa is full of black people and africans have jobs.. so u can't say a job is "slavery" .. a job is a job.. you may run across some discrimination but you keep it moving and don't let it stop u from advancing.. God is your provider, not "the man" or whatever and when it comes to schools... again same thing here- they have colleges in africa, so are you going to call those "the white man's lies?" ... i agree racist things are taught in college, i mean you would think only white europeans did anything of significance if you really stuck to only what they teach.. however that doesn't negate the fact that you should go ahead and do school so that you can make a way for yourself in this society.. i've had to hear things in school i didn't agree with since like the 5th or 6the grade when they started talking about the big bang and how an explosion that happened for no reason created life lol but i didn't drop out at the 6th grade as some sort of angry silent protest.. i kept it moving.. and that is what black men must do when we are in school learning nonsense that is atheist and racist.. i'm not saying the misinformation that is taught is good or ok, but i'm saying sometimes we should try to see the bigger picture.. there are certain things in society that tend to garner respect, and education tends to be one of the main ones if u are a black male you are possibly irritated at a lot of things but try to overlook, forgive, and have a positive attitude, not for others- but for yourself, your sanity, and your family's well-being i have experienced a lot of racism.. i could sit here and type a lot talking about it but it is pretty depressing so i'm not going to explain it- just know i have seriously dealt with it pretty much everywhere except church... i honestly just don't want to talk about it, but trust me- i have dealt with it.. i would go over a bunch off the top of my head but i don't feel like thinking about that nonsense and that is essentially the same thing i am prescribing to other black males.. don't give that stuff any time, attention, or light.. just keep it movin.. you may run across racist people but don't get in verbal arguments, don't go tit for tat, don't do any of that.. just stay on your path if you can.. stay focused.. do u want to be arguing with people or taking care of responsibilities? i am aware there is racism, but we need to put God first and let Him handle all this stuff we deal with think like this: "does God want me to cuss this person out?" "does the Lord want me to get revenge?" "does Jesus want me to be bitter inside?" etc. just keep it movin.. i've seen a lot of black men talking about racism and how it is affecting them.. try not to give it power everyday i go to work i work with a guy right next to me who sounds racist to me.. he is always saying something that is right on the border of offensive.. like probably every single day he says something offensive.. i don't pay it any attention though- i mean he is actually a cool guy outside of his archie bunker mindset.. but if i acted like some of these black guys i see out here- it would've been a fistfight day one lmao... but that's not productive.. and we have to think productively another thing i want to address is this whole student loan thing.. this is another thing that people seem to use as an excuse not to "try" or "strive" ..i've seen a lot of people (all races and both genders) ranting about student loans.. look i am tired of all the "student loans are the big bad wolf" talk.. you take out the loans and you pay them back based on your income.. i don't need to hear anyone saying "those loans are a scam from the government" or "those loans are a scam from the white man" .. whether they are or aren't.. you aren't getting points in life by not doing anything.. not taking initiative and not taking risks is not something i would recommend.. "how do u guarantee you can pay them back?" HOW DO U GUARANTEE ANYTHING, IDIOT!? DON'T YOU KNOW YOU COULD DIE TOMORROW, YOU STUPID FAGGOT! have u ever heard of a sinkhole? the very ground you walk on could cave in and you could fall 100 feet to your death at any moment.. your entire house could be sitting on top of a sinkhole.. oh and guess what else? if the new madrid fault reawakens then our whole country could be screwed in ways we never imagined you have no guarantees in life.. you just go for things, you have faith and hope and you pray that God will lead you through you get one life and you are to live it by faith.. you don't fret and complain and tip toe through everything.. you say "i think i can do this" then you do it, then you move to the next level.. you do everything by faith ok.. so i just wanted to speak on things i've heard people say that i feel end up becoming self-defeating i am not blaming black men- i am not a person who is dumb enough to blame the victim.. i am just saying.. KEEP IT MOVING AKA DONT LET THESE THINGS STOP YOU IF YOU CAN HELP IT and the same to all these people out here afraid of the big bad student loans... smh.. have u ever heard of a scholarship? maybe a grant? like stop blaming one problem that has multiple solutions for your total lack of action.. even in the worst case scenario- that you (GASP!) have to pay it back.. you are still ok.. no one is going to stretch your nuts back and fling em' up your butt-crack.. no one is going to throw u in prison.. u will just have to work with what u have to pay them back lets all make an effort to stop letting things stop us from having faith and taking action in life i say all of this in humility!!! |
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