since God blessed me to have my own place i want to talk a little about like.. having people over
ok.. no one thought i would be like this but- i am actually pretty clean when it comes to my place and when people are coming over then i try to tidy up even more my mom came over once and described it as "immaculate" one thing that ruins your space is clutter so u need a place for each item you own.. if you don't have a place then maybe try to get some shelves or something.. proper storage makes a world of difference anyway.. when people come over- one majorly important thing (imo) is the smell.. i don't want anyone to come over and be like "wow james your bathroom smells like you just did a number 5 or something" another issue can be food you cooked a few hours ago.. u may not smell it anymore but visitors can u might have to open a window.. even if it is cold outside you'd be better off opening that window and spraying something than you'd be just letting it ride out because (as i've said before) details are what make up experiences if you shirk details then you also hamper your own circumstances and situations as a single male- if i am having a girl over it is good to have it fresh smelling and feeling inside.. also it is good to apply some creativity to your seating arrangements and lighting etc. i had one girl over once and i didn't think about it at the time but having one chair and my bed worked to my advantage because she sat in the chair and eventually sat in my bed to get more comfortable.. obviously if you know me then you know nothing happened but i feel it sort of helps intimacy if a person is laying in your bed same theory behind therapy.. when they have that chair slash bed thing.. people open up when they lay down if ur a guy reading this.. put some thought into your layout and u might be able to get a girl to let her guard down when it comes to lighting- this is something i may have to put some extra effort into.. but i do have a black light which is great for when all the lights are out but u still want some sort of "glow" the vibe is really nice under black light so maybe look into one of those if u don't have one i was thinking about getting a lamp and putting a red lightbulb in that also.. maybe that could be neat its neat having your own place where people get to see who you are and how you live and you can sort of manipulate things and people won't always suspect the extent to which you are trying to elicit a specific response from them like "yeah i burn these incense and play marvin gaye all the time" lol anyway.. just a few thoughts on domicile manipulation.. a little extra effort can go a long way does anyone have any extra ideas on this? if your place smells nice, is clean, and you have fast internet, you are probably all set to have company i guess something else would be to always have something to offer your guests to eat or drink!!!! REMEMBER, THEY DROVE OUT TO SEE YOU SO TREAT THEM WITH RESPECT AND CARE!!!!!
0 Comments
i just wanted to give some props here for a few artists i've enjoyed recently the first artist i want to point out is emmavie emmavie is from the uk.. my friend kb put me onto her music.. he sent me a link to one of her videos and i was watching it, and i was like "this is good" then in the video she had a blow up doll and she slipped something in the blow up doll's drink and from there i was an instant lifetime fan lol so then i got her album from bandcamp and that album is PHENOMENAL.. i love it.. i really do; i love every second of it.. its one of those albums where the songs are good on their own but its way better if you listen to it as a whole that freaking album is so good it makes no sense .. i'm not even huge into r&b-ish music but she is massively talented.. she's probably the best i've heard in that genre since georgia anne muldrow... emmavie sounds like a british dwele with a little extra creative streak if interested, listen to, or download her album "lovehater" here.. if u don't want to pay just put in "zero" as the amount and u can download it free http://emmaviesxf.bandcamp.com/ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ i also want to give a shout out to this female rapper i ran across named liv this chick's perspective IS SO REAL she is not like the "black female rapper" ..she is definitely not an industry puppet.. her stuff is like.. like imagine a barber shop ran by females and they're all just cutting hair and talking like how men do.. that's kinda what her music is like to me.. its just unfiltered and real and down to earth and strong and full of street-knowledge style education one of the most overt lines i heard her say that slaps u in the face with how different she is is when she said something like: "the first female rapper who doesn't rap about sucking __" her music isn't on tha jean grae type ish, its like street ish but with a "society wake up" sort of twist and her feminine perspective added to it is just such a great and refreshing aspect.. because she will diss women and say things like "stop getting boob jobs and @ss shots and put that money into college" and stuff like that i'm really proud of this woman for her perspective and her bars.. she is like almost like a modern day non-masculine queen latifah or something.. she has that perspective that will help the youth to understand how to live a better life check her out if u are interested.. here is a neat song where she dissed the barbz (nicki fans) and bey-hive (beyonce fans) her point of view in her songs is just so raw but its not typical she is telling everyone to wake up its just so refreshing so again.. quick recap: i like emmavie for her amazing creative musical talents i like liv for her strong, clear, real perspective and uncompromising yet still feminine demeanor i text my barber today and asked him when i could come in
he said "i have a doctor appointment today, maybe we can do something tomorrow?" that sounds so stupid to me out of the last 3 or 4 times i saw him, he was late twice and on two occasions he said he didn't have change and could "owe me a dollar" on the next cut which he never remembered to give back.. i don't even really care but its like- man i give you a tip every week the least you can do is give me correct change back so again- i text him today and he says "i have a doctor appointment" man this dude literally works 3 days a week how are you scheduling appointments on one of the 3 days out of the week you are supposed to work? i didn't even text him back what is wrong with people i wrote an entry about why being vulnerable is necessary in a relationship.. i didn't email it to myself yet though so i will have to post it later.. not sure if anyone is interested in reading that so i may or may not post it at all
anyway i was thinking do u guys think being with someone ugly is a big issue? i mean.. most times when you are with someone they kinda become better looking based on the feelings involved right? so is being with someone ugly a big deal? i sometimes think- "why not just get with an ugly girl with a nice body?" but then again.. if being with someone ugly sort of 'evens out' physically... then it probably 'evens out' relationship-wise as well too then what i mean is.. if someone who is ugly becomes attractive or at least tolerable over the course of time.. then wouldn't that mean the relationship dynamic would go from "i'm with this ugly chick who treats me good" to "i'm with this ugly girl who acts like every other girl" which would then defeat the entire purpose of being with said ugly chick hm.... i seem to have painted myself into a corner here **goes back to begging God for a woman** i was listening to wiley's first album the other day and it reminded me of one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me
i was with a girl at the time when wiley's album came out.. the one called treddin on thin ice anyone who knew me at the time knew i was big into foreign music.. like people from the UK mostly.. i mean i was really into those guys.. dizzee, wiley, kano, m.i.a, the streets, baby blu.. etc i'm talking like 2003, 04, 05, 06 i even said this in a song i wrote.. the first song on my album called 'style by fire' i said not out chasin chicks, i'm makin hits/ spending half my dough on long playin discs/ go to tower records, hit the imports/ other dudes play ball- but this is his sport/ i STAYED in that import section lol so one day i went to my g/fs house and when she let me in she was like.. press play on the cd player.. i was thinking "ok that's weird but alright" so i went and pressed play and it was that wiley album i had been wanting! i was like WHOA how did you get this!! because at that time.. it was like hard to get your hands on some of the foreign music.. like you could go to the store and buy an album from nelly no problem but if you were like me- you were always looking for something no one ever heard of so i was like how did you get this! she said she asked the guy at tower records (that used to be in opry mills) and he had no idea what she was talking about but it just so happened that they had one copy of it!!! i was like WOW!!!!!! and i feel like- looking back, i had he best g/f in the WORLD!!!!! but i don't think i realized it at the time.. i think i was kinda ignorant back then and i feel like i only realize how great she was to me in hindsight so yeah that is my story of someone doing something really nice for me cuz the cd was so rare and it was like she knew my loves and hobbies and my weird foreign music appetite but she didn't see it as weird she just saw it as like "this is what james likes" and she was supportive to me in things i didn't realize it at the time, but its very hard to find that supportive and accommodating trait in women these days i just realized my car is 12 years old
man.. my car is 12, brah smh... TWELVE my car is from the old testament.. its not even a car, its a carriage n ish does anyone reading this have a car that old? i saw this today and i had to post it.. one thing i've noticed about some japanese art and culture is a lot of times they have religious undertones to the things they make this cartoon is no different.. this is the only episode i've seen but WOW.. this is SO REAL imo basically- its like a perfect example of how the enemy comes into your life when you are vulnerable and attempts to sell you a lie.. "the laughing salesman" .. he wants to sell you a lie so that you will sin and live outside the will of God for your life.. the enemy wants to use your frustrations and desires against you to kill, steal, and destroy as many aspects of your being as possible this cartoon is madd deep imo check it out, its worth the 10 minutes.. kinda funny too lolz ++++++++ on a completely unrelated note: i just sneezed and since i sneezed my head turned and i looked at my watch sitting on the table and it said 11:11:11.. (my watch counts seconds) its crazy how that still happens to me i was thinking about telling you guys about a date i had.. but when i thought about it.. i started thinking about the things i did right and wrong and things i could improve on from the date
so i decided to just talk about that aspect- the things i want to improve on for next time so here are the things i think i can improve on from the last date i had 1. i didn't smell like anything 2. i didn't dress nice or have my hair cut 3. i didn't use body language i really want to be a good guy to a woman so after the date i thought about it and tried to think about everything... and those were the main things i came up with now i want to expand on these: 1. i didn't smell like anything - i have been asking women here and there what they want men to smell like and it seems like women like a light masculine scented aroma.. it could be deodorant or cologne or whatever.. it seems to me that women appreciate a nice light masculine scent.. i don't get the idea that it is a big deal to women however it is a detail i feel i could stand to work on a little so my goal is- next time to try and go from ZERO smell to something light.. i don't feel like it has to be cologne.. i think it can even be something as simple as using dryer sheets.. so i may start by doing that.. because its simple and light but i feel like its a small step in the right direction 2. i didn't dress nice or have my hair cut.. now this was not really my fault.. having my hair cut and having clothes requires time and money that i really didn't have at that moment.. but i still want to work on these things.. i want to try and save money for vain things like those because... let me put it like this i went to audio school a long time ago and one thing i never forgot was when they taught us about all the different things you do to mix and master a song.. normalize it, put a limiter on it, apply a compressor, add echo, add reverb, isolate a track or two, quantize something, pan something, take a frequency out.. the list goes on so one day i asked something like "what is the most important thing in mixing" or something and the guy said something like this: "its not about one thing.. its about applying all your knowledge to the song and then you will see a clear difference between the before and after product.. even people who know nothing about mixing should be able to hear the difference when you're done.. its not ever about one thing- its about cutting, shaping, and pruning little by little.. you may barely notice a certain change but after you do 100 little changes, you will see that clear difference" that is how i see life.. a change may be small or a detail sometimes may seem minute or unimportant, but details are what shape a thing.. without such what do u have? so that is a reflection of why i think i should apply myself to improve on details- even some of the ones that appear to be vanity.. looking terrible would be congruent to looking irresponsible, so i should not shirk the duty of appearance btw.. i didn't look bad at all.. i just know i could've done better 3. i didn't use body language - ok basically here's what happened.. i feel like i let the date go on a little too long.. why? because i couldn't think of a way to say "ok let's go" without saying "ok let's go" and possibly coming off as blunt and offensive so i let some time pass and finally i raised my arms up as if i was getting tired.. it worked! i did that and she started to stand up.. so that showed me i need to do things like that more often.. say something with body language as opposed to words because sometimes you can't really find the right words or the right way to say a thing so next time i will try to have body language on deck for each situation so there you have it- those are a few things i want to work on.. i'd tell you guys the things i feel like i did well on the date but i would feel like i am bragging to an extent so i will decline anyway.. take it easy peeps.. just wanted to share that i want to talk about something that is difficult to deal with when it comes to women
some of you may have seen my "women are beta" post not too long ago and i totally 100% believe that.. it has been reiterated to me about 100 times since that revelation when i say 'beta' i mean like.. non alpha.. meaning like- the way they think and act is in line with the beta personality this (like i said before) makes everything about women make sense.. there were so many times in my life where i'd be like literally dumbfounded at how/why a woman would act in a certain way.. but "women are beta" makes it all make sense now that we've gotten that out of the way again, i want to talk about a thing women/betas do that i have a hard time with they withhold their true feelings this also explains why women will talk to all their friends about how great their man is, but she won't tell him any of that stuff they say things like "i don't want to give __ the satisfaction of knowing they affected me" or "i love __ but i don't want them to know that" or "he wants me to like him so i can't tell him i like him" or "i want to be noticed so i will act like i'm taken" etc. etc. these tactics- though they all still fall under the "women are beta" category - are still a bit weird to me i would also generally categorize them as "overthinking" or "self defeating" sometimes but let me talk about my PERSONAL problem with it when i flirt with women.. its kinda fun and everything- i mean it is what it is.. i don't mind showing my hand or putting my cards on the table whether it is direct or indirect but my personal issue is, after a while it gets old.. like we all want an ebb and flow.. if its just me giving compliments and showing interest and inviting you places and things- after a while it just plain gets old.. it becomes like one-sided.. like its not ebb and flow, its just ebb.. its just me putting myself out there and you watching me do it sorry but i want some validation too.. i mean wow can i get a call or a text or a "how's your day" or even just something as simple as a reply-text that doesn't take you 4 hours to send? and another thing i have to say.. (i am speaking from the heart right now) i almost cannot begin to tell you how tired i am of getting a text or call from a girl 3 days after i contacted her and she has a stupid excuse like "i didn't get your call until now" or "my phone died" or "my phone wasn't working but i went to get it fixed" or something.. and part of what makes it so bad is even if you call them on it they will never admit it.. they will never admit they just met another guy or they were mad at you for a 30 second disagreement or because you said another girl was pretty or whatever.. so when they refuse to acknowledge anything they do- you are forced to just overlook everything... you can't even confront them and say "hey i didn't like that" because they will say "you didn't like what? i didn't do anything" one time i confronted a girl and she legit said "i didn't do what you think i did but i apologize" .. i was like "if u apologize then you acknowledge you did it" she was like "no, i did nothing but i apologize to you" this just made me even more upset than what i originally was! sidenote: one way you can tell women are lying to you about their phone dying or whatever is because they usually stop talking to you afterwards.. like ok say u are calling a girl and she doesn't answer and u get to the 4th time and she doesn't answer and so ur like ok forget it.. then one day she comes back with a stupid excuse.. then AFTER THE EXCUSE she still won't really talk to you so its not like "my phone broke and now it's fixed, so lets talk again like normal" its really like her just finding a way to say "don't be mad at me" without admitting fault and without apologizing, and without changing (committing to be a reliable friend/spouse) i mean its one thing to be beta.. its another thing to just lie to my face and act like you are always innocent.. its the evil phone company that is sabotaging our relationship and connection.. no its never you and your silent treatment.. oh no its never your attitude and pride that get in the way.. oh no its never those I AM TIRED OF IT i am thankful for the struggles because i have lived long enough to sort of deduce that a struggle with a thing generally precedes the fruit thereof but look- i am human too sometimes it just boils down to something as simple as "treat people the way you'd like to be treated" sometimes its not about men and women and beta and alpha.. sometimes its just.. can a brotha get some golden rule type of people in his life like i get so worn out trying and trying and giving and giving and not getting the corresponding positive outcome if i give a compliment- don't reply with sarcasm if i crack a joke, don't roll your eyes can i get a smile or a hug or a "how's your day?" i mean you can't withhold your feelings all the time and expect men to actually like you past sexual attraction.. at some point you women have to show some affection our way.. show me something, smile, act happy to see me when i drive to your house- why do u have to look all tired and lethargic like i could leave and you wouldn't even care? why do women hide it all.. like literally i am tired of trying and putting in effort yet never knowing if they like me back or not.. like i'm not asking for anything big.. just show some interest what is it? am i paying for what a previous man did to you? you just absolutely refuse to put your heart out there at all in any way shape or form!? i am so tired of feeling like i am just another option.. just another "i can take it or leave it" its not fun at all.. women are like "yeah this guy tried to holler at me in the mall blah blah blah" always making it seem like they could drop me at any second.. i feel like i am hanging by a thread in their mind, like if i do one wrong thing it'll not only be "goodbye" but also "f*** you" i want to stand in some sort of security knowing you won't wake up tomorrow and block me on your phone the Bible says that love is first "patient," it also says that love will wax cold in the last days so each time a minor thing causes a person i care about to completely turn their back on me- i realize where we are at this moment in time.. and i probably am in fact asking for too much |
Beautiful things
a nonstop rush Archives
December 2015
|