to all my Christian peeps
i want to give u guys all some knowledge basically we all need stability in our lives right? i am no preacher but i want to share this with u guys.. if you need help from God in your life to overcome struggles READ HAGGAI IN THE BIBLE i have not heard many preachers preach on haggai but that book (imo) is a life changer i say that because it explains how God sees us sometimes and it explains why we are in constant lack sometimes i'm not going to go into a lot of depth here but i am legit putting this out because it might help someone read haggai in the bible and take it in.. and it may change your life if anyone reads it and sees what i am talking about please leave a comment i just wanted to put this out there for anyone who may need it.. i feel that the lessons in haggai can be very helpful for our general well-being AGAIN.. if you actually read it.. please come back and comment
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today at work a girl said a guy asked her for money but she was appalled by that because "he is a man"
i said that's how i feel when women have opinions she laughed but i wasn't really joking anyway, prior to that- i asked a different girl at my job why she thinks girls don't like me the first thing she said was: "you're a little weird" then as she went on she said something that i thought was pretty profound.. she said: "you can't do anything right for the wrong person" i don't know how she came up with such a good quote.. it was as if something came down and blessed her brain or something i feel like she is right but i still feel like there is another side.. the side that says "i have to try to be attractive in order to attract" i feel like when people say "its just not the right person" IN EVERY INSTANCE, what they are effectively doing is taking away your power in the scenario.. which is something i kinda resent i feel that GENERALLY: if i approach a girl incorrectly i will get a bad response if i approach a girl correctly i will get a good response so saying they are just not the right girls (while it makes sense in some instances) does not make sense in the grand scheme we all have power to attract or repel the opposite sex based on how we present ourselves, our habits, hygiene, our looks, etc. etc. so even though she said something really cool, i still feel that i am ultimately unattractive to women and there are some things i can do to change that.. in subtle ways or overt chalking up relationship failures to "its not the right person" each and every time is madd lazy to me AT SOME POINT YOU HAVE TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHY THE OPPOSITE SEX DOESNT BOTHER WITH YOU AND ACTIVELY TAKE STEPS TO CHANGE THAT FACT i will go on record right now and say i feel like i have a lot of good qualities (not being arrogant) such as believing in and fearing God, actually wanting to commit to a woman, i don't do drugs or drink or take happy meds, i have normal hobbies (nothing crazy like jumping out of planes) in the most humble way possible- i feel like i am a good catch because i feel like i have what it takes to provide a way for a woman to live in comfort and confidence the main things i feel like i need to work on are: 1. get in better shape 2. get a better occupation if and/or when i get those in order.. if i am still single, i am going to need some SERIOUS answers as to why i don't think i am that bad of a guy i've been told i'm too opinionated but i have scaled my opinions back A LOT.. literally if you're not on this website then you would probably have no clue how opinionated i am because i have taken steps to shut that part of myself down in public because it comes off as very rude and arrogant i am super laid back in public.. this site (and when i'm talking to myself) are the only places where i just totally let loose anyway.. my job hired this really pretty girl not too long ago and i lock eyes with her a lot.. i have not been able to approach her with any subtlety so i have just been waiting for my chance i am going to try and see what she is all about soon if at all possible.. i am very interested in her and very hopeful.. when we look at eachother we actually both stare too long.. i know its subtle but it feels like we are both doing it on purpose.. i will keep you guys updated on my dealings with she wish me luck tho peeps anyway i'm out i was surfing the net and i saw reese witherspoon on some site- she explained that it was hard having a divorce and she said this:
"You know, you can't really be very creative when you feel like your brain is scrambled eggs" i liked that quote because that is how i feel a lot like i wish i could just be creative in peace but there are too many other factors bleeding in and i can use those factors to my advantage at times.. but sometimes its just like overwhelming i really understand where she is coming from with that creativity takes focus.. like when i am writing i am not so much writing as much as i am doing what i call "hyper-editing" this is something i wrestle with.. even since years ago.. i remember saying it on a song i wrote like 10 yrs ago "got school, got tunes.. you can call me two-face/ game face play face you can call me bruce wayne/" it can be hard juggling life and creativity because of the amount of focus they each command so yeah, i liked her quote my view on the new race thing is that it is a setup
i think some of the things we are seeing are being setup and some are probably real happenings but what isn't ever real is the media coverage meaning- the media is focused on white vs black in a lot of ways right now trying to incite a new race war a house divided against itself will not stand so i think people in high places are trying to bring about ruin.. this way they will be able to bring about doom and destruction so as to oppress people further and simultaneously further elevate themselves people are falling for this plan left and right ever heard the phrase "divide and conquer?" have you seen all these people in the UNITED states who want to secede? cops and everyday people at odds white and black people holding resentment etc. its just like some of the other things you see happening, like the events that led to gun control discussions.. some events were possibly real, most were fake (meaning done by government, cia, secret service etc).. either way the media blows certain things up so as to change public opinion and consciousness media is very subtle i see each and every aspect of what they are doing like the cash for gold commercials, get everyone's gold during a recession to increase the disparity of wealth between rich and poor or how about the anti-bullying movement.. people think that is positive.. its not.. its basically taking away any argument against perversion or dysfunction by forcing tolerance.. people don't seem to understand that forcing tolerance is actually oppressive anyway.. i just wanted to speak on all this race crap going on today its all a trap stay focused on what God has put in your heart for you to do unless you are of this world! which i am not! don't spend your time warring against flesh and blood! stay focused! race is not even real! we are all made of sand! ashes to ashes and dust to dust this isn't important but its just something i was thinking about.. i want to speculate on something before we see what happens.. so maybe one day we can look back and see if we were on or off the speculation i'm speaking of is this: now that nicki minaj is supposedly single.. who is she going to be with? i don't know if this whole breakup is a publicity stunt (because who knew she was even in a relationship in the first place?) but if it isn't publicity.. who do u think nicki will date? i am really curious as to who might be considered 'eligible' for nicki we have seen her in public for a long time but we haven't seen her in a relationship i definitely want to look back on this entry in the future when she is in a relationship to see if i predict right or not.. so here is my prediction she won't be with a basketball player because she will see them as too young and she will be thinking they might cheat on her so she is going to be with A. a mature slash distinguished slash older black actor like idris elba or B. an unknown older black guy with a lot of money.. like someone who owns a law firm or something or C. a white guy from europe who owns some sort of company i just wanted to speculate because if she gets in a relationship it'll likely be everywhere sorta like that time when i saw this at the store- and took this picture with my phone so we'll see what happens.. i know its not important, but i'm a little curious to see what her taste in men is like
i ignored a girl for the first time today.. i felt like i said f*** you without saying f*** you i'm lovin it ba-da-ba-ba-pa! LOL i guess i'm givin u women a taste of your own medicine! women play these dumb games and they lose their opportunities THE DOOR IS CLOSED.
my day today was like oddly terrible i don't even understand what happened its in my mind.. my mind has been racing.. i've been irritable.. i've been in a complainy mood the past few days its like something has been wrong that has been hard to put my finger on i told myself maybe i'm dehydrated because that can affect your mood and i haven't been drinking much lately i went and got some juice and went to my parents house, i vented to my dad about my frustrations with women and that helped a little but honestly i'm still feeling bonkers my whole day was just very weird probably also just not exercising enough.. i'll have to work on it this song kinda explains how i feel.. like i'm just going insane i ran across this online and i started watching it and i was like... smh... dude seriously? dude.... DUDE. what makes it so crazy is how she is not overtly acting sexual she's just acting normal- which somehow makes it even hotter lol
i literally sat and watched the whole thing smh i need a woman i feel that love is primarily made up of two things.. two sides
the first side is the very simple aspects of love such as adoration, admiration, enjoyment, the appealing nature of the thing you love.. it is very simple and pleasant to you the second side is the testing of your love.. do you love a person or thing enough to "blank" ..love generally will take you somewhere.. are you willing to withstand the bumps in the road? .. chances are, at some point your loyalty will be questioned and how you respond will show a lot about who you are, how much you want something, and your intentions the first factor is not really based on choice- it is sort of based on wants/needs/desires which can be altered over time but mostly it is like the same reason why a person prefers red over yellow.. there is no true explanation for such the second factor is based on choice.. this explains why it is good to know both what you want as well as what you will do with it when it is received (the less time spent 'on the fence' the less time wasted) i suppose another factor in love would be deciding what to do when who you love does not love you back you have to ask, do i love "blank" ? if the answer is no you should probably find the one you DO love if the answer is yes you should pursue and decide early to withstand what it will take to get this person (or even object) to love you back (or work for you) and also decide early on what you will do if things do not go as you would like them to this way- everything is about what you do with situations as opposed to what situations do to you we have to ask ourselves.. are we defined by what a person we love thinks of us? or do we define ourselves? to detach oneself from the thoughts/opinions/values of another is to accept we might be alone.. there is no safety net but it is also to take control of oneself and ones emotions it is also to understand that the underlying source of what you seek is not a person, or job, or any specific thing- the source of what we want/need is God Himself meaning limits do not actually exist and hope is infinite ask yourself- are you above or beneath the approval/disapproval of the person/thing you love most? if you are beneath- what does that subject you to? if you are above, what does that free you to become? the other day i noticed a girl at my job loves my affection toward her.. because when i offhand said something about wanting a latte- she handed me a fist full of dollars she is on my good side and somehow wants to solidify her place there by giving to me.. she is subject to being taken advantage of this way.. however i told her i can't take her money so ask yourself.. is approval a need? do you see a person or thing as a source or is God the source? who are you? whether circumstances are good or bad, who are you? i felt that this woman was worth a post here on the site.. i want to introduce her to u guys because if ur like me you like learning interesting things about relationships/attraction etc
i am subbed to her on youtube.. she has some decent advice i feel like she is mostly correct in her assessments however i must say she is definitely a woman.. i can tell she doesn't understand the male plight and the scarcity mentality we face when dating i very quickly noticed she has no idea what its like to have no options, and to have to literally try your hardest just to get one date and then after the date that person never calls you again women in dating generally have an abundance mentality because men approach them and men are so eager.. women get used to 'abundance' thoughts like "i command attention and i can have a man if i want one" men on the other hand a lot of times have a scarcity mentality which is born out of having nothing handed to you, instead you must fight for each and every interaction with a woman.. each little thing is a win.. a date where a girl doesn't roll her eyes at you, a kiss on the cheek, i mean something as small as a woman taking her coat off, or not looking at her phone for a while can be a big win for a man i remember once i met a girl from a dating site and i asked her why she didn't show her cleavage on the site because her boobs were huge and i had no idea her boobs were that big until i met her in real life she picked up her phone and showed me how many guys messaged her and she literally had 99 unread messages.. and it capped at 99, so there was no way of knowing how many messages she actually had (again, that was WITHOUT any indication of her massive boobs) i could be on a dating site for 10 yrs with nothing but pictures of me with rock hard abs and i STILL would not accumulate 99 messages.. so that goes to show you what is going on in the dating world men and women have completely different experiences, so i learned very quickly that this woman (from the youtube video) has NO IDEA what it is like to have a man's scarcity mentality.. she has no clue what its like to have your only thought in an interaction be: "please don't run away" .. she has no clue the desperation we feel, the balancing acts we have to pull off, and the feelings we have to hide.. its like i heard a preacher once say he had to be poor in order to be able to preach to the poor because if he hadn't experienced it- he'd be missing certain elements and that's what her videos are like to me sometimes.. they're missing certain elements... she doesn't understand the male plight or the scarcity mentality in dating, so sometimes the advice she gives can be irritating or like, overly simplistic- however she still has some great information if you overlook the things you know she does not understand or recognize peep some of her stuff if ur into interpersonal relationship dynamics btw.. i will explain "the 4th wall" subject line in the future |
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the new retro Archives
December 2014
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