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this is going to just be my thoughts.. no theme, just my random thoughts
i don't have a bed in my apartment.. i need one.. i don't have a bed or a couch.. could use a tv stand too.. and some dressers.. i am sort of banking on taxes coming or maybe trying to get on some type of payment plan.. i don't really welcome the idea of a payment plan but at the same time.. its like.. maybe its an opportunity to build a good credit history i still hate and love women.. recently another stupid thing that happened with a girl on plenty of fish i tried to talk to her like 2 months ago.. i said something like "hey you seem cool how's your weekend" or something madd simple like that she responded with: "i'm just looking for friends" ...this was such a slap in the face for two reasons 1. i didn't mention anything about a relationship or sex at all so wtf was she talking about 2. her profile clearly said on the front "actively seeking relationship" let me say that again... it said on the front ACTIVELY SEEKING RELATIONSHIP so i just ended up getting off the site because that was just dumb on so many levels i couldn't take it anymore now here's what makes that even crazier.. i had a lapse in sanity the other day and put my pictures back on the site.. do you know she hit me up? i was like WHAT THE F***? i was so shocked and irritated that she would have the nerve to contact me it was unbelievable.. so i said something like "i tried to talk to you like two months ago....." she responded with a stupid excuse for rejecting me and i took my pictures off again.. btw.. that's another issue with women.. their excuses are always stupid as f*** common excuse 1: "sorry my phone died" common excuse 2: "i gotta go someone's calling me on the other line" common excuse 3: "i was out with kelly" me: but you just said kelly's a bitch and not your real friend like 2 days ago "oh i was just upset that day.. did you get any new video games?" me: smh so damn ridiculous.. you women really think men don't know something is up don't you anyway.. i've been trying to talk to this girl with a big booty for a while now.. i am really trying to get her to spend time with me.. i don't know if she is talking to other guys or what.. she is thick and white so her phone probably has more black guys in it than f*cking nba 2k on a diff note... how i view women: women think they are perfect and they are very fickle how women view me: boring i really think women think i am boring.. do you guys think this is true? am i boring? what would make a man not boring? i would like to understand this more.. what would make a woman say "i like being around james, he is not boring, he is fun" right now i do not know the answer to this btw.. speaking of asking questions like "why don't girls like me?" i have heard some people say that is a weak man's question.. smh.. how the f*ck is self analysis ever weak? i don't get that mindset.. i think men and women both should ask these sorts of questions so we can all become better for the opposite sex that's the way to success.. asking things like "why don't girls like me?" "what do women respect?" "what would i have to do to keep a girl in my life?" etc. etc. will these questions pave a rough path? LIKELY SO, but that path will likely yield a harvest of plenty after a while at the very least it will lead men and women alike away from the world path of nonsense.. friends with benefits, no strings attached, single parenting, chronic loneliness, etc so i don't want to hear anyone else trying to convince me that self analysis is for weak men i had an interesting dream last night that seemed to have a message
the dream started out fairly normal.. i remember i was at the mall with a girl and i kept having this thought.. the thought was that.. my favorite food is basically condiments the reason i kept thinking that was because there are so many foods that i wouldn't even eat at all if it weren't for the condiments condiments can be weird because they might have like zero nutritional value, and might be too sweet or too bitter to enjoy alone (like imagine trying to drink ketchup).. so condiments basically are made for the purpose of making something else better.. but again- a condiment can really set off a sandwich or some fries or frosting can really set off a piece of cake and make it great ok now.. the girl i was with was kinda being irritating so i wandered off... when i wandered off, i basically went like- to a place in the mall where people usually don't go.. like i ended up out where there were no employees or customers, like in a place people didn't normally go- like when malls have construction and no one is in a certain area.. i was in something like that so when i went back there i found some stuff the girl i was with had lost.. so i got SOME of the things and i went back to where she was and i set them in front of her.. she was on a cell phone though and didn't really acknowledge that i found the items, so i walked off again i went back where where i found her stuff but remember where i said i got SOME of the things.. well there was a phone of hers that i didn't give her.. i went back to where i found it and kinda looked in it and realized this girl was probably seeing another guy.. (btw she was talking on an extra phone.. but the phone i was looking through was her real phone) so.. then i was thinking.. ok i'm going to get ready to leave.. i'm just going to get ready to take this girl home and get ready for her to never talk to me again because she is talking to these other guys... but i kept exploring a little (in that weird area of the mall) and in doing that- i found a little girl's clothing on the ground.. i thought nothing of it and walked off i left that weird area of the mall and told myself i'd walk around the mall one more time before meeting back up with the girl i came with- giving her her real phone, and heading home so i was just walking around but when i got to sears or something- i saw a lot of people around looking for someone.. an old man was very distraught and he was crying and calling out around the mall calling this little girl's name who was nowhere to be found... i overheard what was happening in the commotion and basically a little girl had asked these old people if she could leave the mall with them but the old people had sort of laughed it off.. but then the old people thought about it and ended up asking mall security police what they knew about the little girl who asked to leave with them mall security then explained the girl fit the description of a missing child they had been looking for.. then the old people were distraught and wanted to rectify their mistake of shooing the little girl away so then i went to them and i explained i saw some little girl's clothing in the 'abandoned' part of the mall.. then the old guy lost it and the police went to investigate that area someone ended up showing me a picture of the little girl and she was really a cute little girl.. like cute and cool looking even at such a young age and she was near my skin tone so i ended up thinking to myself "wow, even i would take in this child as my own!" and that was it this is what the dream seemed like it meant: 1. the girl i arrived at the mall with seemed to represent how sometimes i (and/or we) pursue things that seem great- but sometimes they aren't remember, when i found some of her belongings, she didn't really acknowledge it- she was on her backup phone and when i found her primary phone and looked in it- it seemed like she was talking to other guys 2. when it comes to the condiments.. i see it like this: the missing little girl was like condiments she was not meant to be alone.. children can't stand alone yet.. they are a garnish or a condiment that help to make a main course better.. but they cannot yet stand alone 3. i am a main course.. a stand alone single adult male.. i am able to take care of myself and things like that.. so the fact that i said "my favorite food is condiments" was almost like me saying "my life is bland without flavor" or "my life is bland without the right person to share it with 4. when the picture of the girl almost looked like she could've been my daughter and i wished i could've taken her in as my own, i realized that the whole time- i was trying to find love in ungrateful women so i could have their beauty in my life, but there was this little girl who would likely love me far more than any woman i was trying to impress, and she would bring my life meaning and purpose as well.. she could've been the condiment to complete me as a main course 5. overall i think the dream was like saying "keep your eyes open" because what you think you want, and what you need are two different things i want to explain one reason why men have sex with women and then leave them
i'm not sexually active but i am able to explain this because i have seen what some women do that makes men not value them enough to stay around a lot of women have this belief that men will do everything and initiate everything 100% of the time and if he doesn't then he is not a real man.. he is not worthy of her time this hearkens back to the whole "men don't have feelings" myth that i noticed women have some women think men should initiate and do everything.. but if a woman believes that- then what she is doing is making herself valueless to him with the exception of her vagina think about it if a man gives you compliments buys you dinner takes you places tries to make you laugh calls you first says he missed you when he sees you etc and all you do is accept and receive without proper reciprocation then of course you are making yourself look like your only value to him as a man is sexual the way a woman can set herself apart is to be a giver or at least a decent reciprocator i will tell you women a secret- men like to be appreciated.. don't just accept compliments, give some surprise! men are human too men respect a woman who shows him something.. some sort of appreciation or love or approval (approval is a big one) or a woman who is willing to give back from time to time if a woman doesn't show any positive traits and her only "reward" or only "way to reciprocate" is sex, then she shouldn't be surprised when she is only used for that do you guys think this is decent advice or am i way off? i've had a girl cook for me once and i really appreciated it.. in other words, i've had girls do things for me that make me look past their big boobs or nice butts.. but i've dated some women who don't offer appreciation other than things that are sexual if that is all you are offering that is all you will likely be used for these are all pictures i took at work
vending machine, cubicles, my desk, lunch room, looking out the window i found a really good visual artist today
note: his work is not always rated pg but for anyone who likes good visual art and doesn't mind some racy material check this guy's work out.. its impressive: bennewmanart.blogspot.com |
who am i?
the new retro Archives
December 2014
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