i think i've realized a certain theme on this site lately
it has just occurred to me what that theme is and where it comes from
i am tired of not being "good enough"
that is essentially what a great deal of my animosity and anger stems from
i hate it when people are so focused on things in my life that are "flaws"
i want someone to just say "I LIKE JAMES"
this is a word for word quote a girl said this to me in a conversation and it meant a lot to me to the point where i saved it
"James i really don't see why you're alone. I mean sure you're a little weird but that's what makes you you"
that's what i want.. just basic acceptance from someone somehow at some point.. someone who says "yeah james ur weird but that's cool" instead of.. "ur weird, thus not worthy of listening to" "ur this so i'm not talking to u" "ur at point A so you will never be at point B" "ur not like so and so, so you're not worthwhile"
on the song "there's been a murder" from jay-z he said "all i ever wanted to be was wealthy or to have someone tell me they felt me"
man.. can i get that please? can someone cosign or validate something i say for once? can someone say "james is alright with me" ever? can i get some sort of backup or "i feel u" ever? or will i always be looked at as someone who is unworthy of support, validation, or even just being agreed with?
i want someone to say "i like james for who he is" i am so tired of people telling me how i don't measure up somehow whether directly or indirectly
i have been dissed by "life" so much that i have grown to absolutely despise even the smallest slight.. its to where i become enraged at even the HINTING that i may not be good enough in any aspect of existence at all
for what its worth.. i wasn't going to share this song because its extremely rough, but it tends to explain a large part of how i feel so listen and live in my world for 3 minutes..
good luck seeing through my eyes ngga, you're gnna need it