here are some things to look for before you get married
i compiled these basic rules from watching crime shows many crime shows display a marriage gone horribly wrong.. so here is my advice on what to consider before marriage again, all this knowledge is based on some of the crime shows i've seen where a person was screwed by a person they married: 1. can your spouse take no for an answer? inflexibility will likely cause you some real problems in the future marriage is "for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer" in other words, you shouldn't expect every single moment to be absolutely perfect and ideal when you have an imperfect moment.. can your spouse deal with it? or will they fight you tooth and nail to get what they want? they have to be able to sometimes take no for an answer.. they must have patience.. remember.. the first characteristic of love in the Bible is patience 2. don't get married quickly you have to have time to make sure their words line up with their actions.. before you get married make sure you have your feelers up people say "love is blind" .. don't let your love be blind.. make sure you are looking for signs and red flags from the very beginning.. also ask God to reveal things to you that you should know before you make a decision with your heart.. act with wisdom, not emotion 3. does your spouse play the victim in their past relationships? this is normally a bad sign it says the following: "whatever caused the breakup was not my fault, because i did nothing wrong and i certainly DIDNT LEARN ANY TYPE OF LESSON" in other words: they think they are perfect their whole outlook is skewed.. they don't take responsibility for what they do wrong in a relationship listen closely to what they say about their past relationships and take mental notes.. if certain things don't add up then highlight that in your mind because it could be a red flag also remember, a lot of times people who play the victim throw others under the bus.. so remember, they might end up throwing YOU under the bus at some point for example: like instead of a girl telling her friends you yelled at her because she slapped you, she might tell her friends you yelled at her because you are a crazy tyrant... successfully throwing you under the bus so that she can keep the victim role a lot of victim players are actually master manipulators 4. have they been married before? and how many times? ok.. this is basic.. if a person has been divorced 3 times then my recommendation is STAY AWAY personally though, i don't like the divorce thing AT ALL.. i know marriage is not always easy but i tend to think, if you got a divorce you need to have a really good reason or you were likely just being selfish in some way i want a simple life.. i don't want step children, i don't want to deal with your ex husband and how you still talk to him behind my back.. i don't want to deal with anything crazy, i want the simplest most blessed marriage union possible since marriage is a vow before not only man but also God.. i don't take divorce or remarriage lightly there are some exceptions but overall i say try to avoid those who are divorced ESPECIALLY those who have been divorced more than once.. they are (imo) playing around with the sanctity of marriage which is a bad sign when you are considering marrying that person
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December 2012
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