i have not been sleeping lol
like i SERIOUSLY haven't been sleeping i have been awake so long and for so many days that i started making really crazy jokes and acting out i hope no one saw me in the car head-banging and screamin the word "SWAG" over and over to the beat of whatever i was listening to i was probably dancing lol i was probably making faces and everytheng i lose all my inhibitions when i am tired -sonec teh bonkers- will i ever meet sleep againz?
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what do yall nggas put in ya coffeez? for the 1st time i put swiss miss in mah ish and it was really goodz if yew does 1 packet per cup of coffee dat ish tayst incrediblez! i enjoy experimenteng w/ mah own coffee.. 1 otha theng i noticed is i cant tell teh difference between folgers, maxwell house, or generic or anytheng tew me dey all taysten teh saym! one of my fave things is this whole user-created art thing going on these days
people do so much art today for free just because they have the ability to make art i have love for people who just do their art simply 'because' ..i love people who may not be very popular but who use their talent anyway i've been looking at some girl on tumblr who takes pictures of herself and its the dumbest blog ever but at the same time i think its genius her originality keeps my attention far more than anything conventional ever could.. nothing those morons in hollywood make could match her simple and honest quirkiness and this is the whole appeal of the user-created art thing happening right now there are blogs, photographs, illustrations, audio, film.. people just do so much cool stuff that doesn't play by the rules and its great i HATE the 'rules' .. u can't do this if ur this weight.. u can't have this job if ur this race.. u can't be happy unless u have this car.. u can't be a good person if you believe this.. the list of stupid man-made political media-driven garbage goes on for days the only 'rules' i subscribe to are biblical .. other than that i don't want to hear or be subject to people and their groundless notions and stereotypes i get happy when i hear basic rebellious statements like if i heard a girl say "i'm glad i don't look like beyonce" that is what i'm talking about.. i love for people to know they have intrinsic value without having to copy someone from television.. i love for people to know that they have something to offer the world i love for people to feel valuable and to not be afraid to show their talent or what they believe is beautiful.. not just what people try to make u THINK is beautiful for example, everyone in the music industry has a million dollar studio but if you are able to see past that and appreciate a song made entirely on a laptop or 4-track recorder then that is awsum.. because u are not letting societal standards of what can be considered 'good' rule your choices so i'm just saying.. if u've read this far please appreciate urself, appreciate where you are, value your own outlook and perspective, value those around u, see the good in people and don't hold all of your praise and support for stupid fake hollywood bs everyday people sink money and attention and love into pockets and people who have way too much tom cruise, jay-z, beyonce, or whoever else there is who makes a billion dollars for breathing.. smh THEY ARE NOT A STANDARD OF ANYTHING just because other people have "okayed" them doesn't mean they are actually 'good' (at their craft or morally) here are some common lies we would be likely to deduce from the media: beyonce = only attractive black woman 'good looking' people = good people college = intelligence = wisdom morality = following popular opinion fat people = goofy and/or anti-social weird or nerdy thin people = desirable and have it all together ^FALSE!!! ++++++ do u ever feel like God gave you someone then you ruined it, or it got ruined and now ur just stuck alone? u had a good solid relationship.. but then it ended one day and now you compare all your new relationships to that one and none of them measure up.. this is something i deal with i've probably met about 3 or 4 good girls in my life.. the rest are really not worth anything but still out of these 3 or 4 good girls, if someone asked me to pick the one for myself to be with, i'd know exactly who to choose however that ship has sailed so who else is out there for me? seriously like wtf.. like who out there would laugh at the dumb stuff i say? who would make me feel like a man? who would encourage me when i'm down? who will help me have a good relationship with God? who will be cute to me and have curves? who will listen to my ideas even when i sound crazy? who will hold me accountable and help me make good decisions? who will be humble and not condescending? what girl will know her role in a relationship and be happy to fulfill it? what girl isn't a spineless person who compromises all of her integrity? u develop a bond with someone over a long period of time and then it ends.. then u live your life hollow for a while until you are ready to date again once you are back to dating then u look around and ur like.. "these people suck ass" lol whatever... *keepen hope alivez* ++++++ i've noticed a few patterns in comments on youtube i think whatever comment a person makes is fine for the most part except there is one type of comment i dislike say there are two sides arguing in comments well then there will eventually be a 3rd side and the 3rd side has to tell people to shutup i hate that person.. why would u tell a person to shutup in a comment section? people are SUPPOSED TO COMMENT lol "everyone just shutup and watch the video" "why are you even making a video about (insert subject here)" "it doesn't matter anyway" ^these are all just ways to undignify (is that a word?) everything said prior and these statements also directly or indirectly tell everyone to be quiet.. as if people need to check with that person and ask if they can make a comment.. like they are the 'god' of comments or something i could go on youtube and find a video on something like who is better, mario or sonic.. and someone will more than likely be on there basically telling everyone to shutup "they're both great, everyone just shutup and enjoy them" or "why do we have to see who's better? why not just play both games?" how about because that's not what the discussion is about u moron! the discussion is about who is better.. so why even come out of left field and try to just make everyone be quiet and listen to u? either participate or find a different video!!! i just think these people are very arrogant.. allow people to have their opinions, ideas, and comments! stop going to videos and telling everyone who isn't you- to shutup! stop trying to eliminate every outlook and opinion that isn't your own! allow people to talk! ++++++ since i'm here i might as well talk a bit about e3 which is the electronic entertainment expo sony had 3 games worth mentioning.. beyond, god of war ascension, and the last of us.. that battle royale game looks like trash for every reason microsoft had fable kinect, a new forza, halo 4, a new gears, and splinter cell nintendo is releasing the wii-u which should be interesting since the controller pretty much does everything.. and i really mean that.. it already serves as a controller, a video screen, a touch pad, a keyboard, and a tv remote so imagine what it will do once people start hacking it.. nggas will be driving their cars with them and ish ubisoft's conference was BY FAR the best one though.. wow.. it was so geared toward actual gamers as opposed to gimmicks and crap.. i was amazed seriously.. they did such a great job.. aisha tyler hosted it and she did a great job.. the games were mature and far cry 3's graphics looked so good that i thought it was a movie of some sort smh.. and to think that was only like the second game they showed!? their whole conference was spot-on! ..great job ubisoft! ++++++ the disney movie "wreck-it ralph" looks AMAZING it comes out in november its about a retired video game character and the movie has actual video game characters in it! i think this will spawn even more video game inspired movies and hopefully one day i can finally see what should've been out a long time ago.. a serious holllywood sonic the hedgehog movie man seriously.. imagine it! but until then.. wreck-it ralph seriously looks amazing!!! ++++++ i would love to have some really good days you know? sometimes life seems like one huge delayed gratification (i have nothing else to say about that^ ..just wanted to get that thought off my chest) ++++++ why do some people think black people are "trash" ? my white friends always tell me about how another white person said something racist behind my back why do these people think they are better than other people? that racism sh*t is so gay its nothing but pride.. u really think ur better than me because of ur race? like u seriously think you are better than me because we have different physical characteristics? some white people seriously treat dogs better than they treat black people.. man grow the f*ck up.. seriously.. what's next? blondes vs. redheads? midgets vs. tallies? the bible says fear of the Lord is hatred of evil the bible also says to love thy neighbor in other words.. if you want something to hate, hate unrighteousness don't hate your neighbor.. u racist people need to read your bibles for real.. stop being misled by what your peers say about other people ++++++ my dad is always talking about israel the bible basically says he who blesses israel will be blessed.. my dad stays on top of affairs in israel since it is an important place in the biblical sense he always lectures me about what the bible says about israel and how it relates to the affairs happening there today.. somehow he always gets conversations to go back to israel lol.. its a real trip.. my dad is weird imo.. not in a bad way- but he is not a normal guy .. which i appreciate my dad loves to teach and explain and talk.. he always has a theory or a viewpoint or solution to offer when you talk to my dad you always have to remember that he is not normal lol.. which is probably the same thing people have to remind themselves when they talk to me ++++++ ok all of that was just a few things i wanted to put out there! have a good day today stay real on teh battlefieldz !! -swag- this girl made a great 'elena' from street fighter 3..
i am a big fan of character cosplay (costume play) i'd like to go to one of those conventions where people dress up one day.. seems madd fun i really respect some of the well-made costumes people make.. i may share some more of my fave cosplays in the future so look out for those.. or better yet look up some of your fave ones! one thing i want to say real quick to black people...
i've seen black people wearing band shirts.. like the rolling stones or beatles or nirvana or guns n' roses my problem with black people doing this is normally i feel like they don't actually listen to these bands i feel like they are only wearing these shirts to be 'different' or 'cool' they want to come across like they listen to things outside of what is culturally prescribed to them.. some black people ACTUALLY listen to modern and/or classic rock.. but i'm talking about the ones who don't.. normally you can tell who does and who doesn't recently i saw a black guy in an r&b group wearing a guns & roses shirt.. the problem with this is that axl rose literally says the n-word in one of their songs and equates blacks to being like annoying derelicts of society if this r&b guy actually listened to guns and roses then it wouldn't take him long at all to know this information.. and this is my issue with black people who do this.. LISTEN TO THE BAND.. don't just try to look like you listen to a band.. stop being a poser, you make yourself look stupid because here you are, a black male supporting a band that thinks you're a piece of sh*t if he had on a shirt that only featured slash- i'd understand, because slash is part black.. but these posers who are buying these classic rock shirts generally don't know wtf they are wearing if you are black please don't wear these classic rock band shirts without actually listening to the music.. i will restate one more time #1. you are not fooling anyone.. people can tell if you listen to certain music or not.. real talk #2. by not listening to these bands you don't know what you are supporting.. are you supporting arrogant white supremacist bullsh*t? you don't know because you don't listen STOP DOING THIS !!!!! btw.. if you HAVE to do this.. remember jimmy hendrix is as good as any i am beginning to understand more and more what it means to get older
i am 27.. born october 31st 1984.. here's what i have found about aging (in general) - physically your body doesn't work the same.. not saying you will be effed up, however you will likely have to put more thought and effort into your diet and things that affect your appearance and/or overall health - memories become more vivid and more cherished.. when you're a kid memories are like grape juice.. as you get older, your memories become like fine wine.. even struggles and unpleasantries oftentimes become idealized when looked at in hindsight.. memories of people places and things take on new meaning in your life as you age - your previous actions and attitudes that have led you to where you are take on a different meaning as well.. it becomes more and more apparent everyday that you are sleeping in the bed you made.. so this is a constant source of delight or torment.. these sources attempt to steer you even further in their respective direction <--- and that is the effect your past has on your present.. what you believe about yourself later is affected by what you do today.. what you fail or succeed at will help form and dictate the entirety of your future self image as well as your legacy "i transform myself- for maximum attraction
i adorn myself (i'm trying to make you love me) no one wants to be alone..." -meshell ndegeocello this is like 8 minutes long.. its about the bad sides of bottled water i am not saying don't drink bottled water and i'm not saying tap water is good for you either however i definitely liked how they exposed the marketing behind the bottled water sales these greedy people sit around trying to make us buy more stuff.. its so bonkers meh.. peep if u wish how do you love yourself?
it has become apparent to me that loving yourself is important i have noticed many of us throughout our lives feel that love is not worth giving if it is not for someone else but why overlook just loving yourself? seriously think about that.. why overlook it? say u are single.. do u feel worthless or like u don't have purpose? maybe your purpose for the moment is to invest in yourself i totally believe in giving back and being pro-active about giving and loving others but if you find yourself alone with no one to love, no one to give to.. why not just focus your attention on you? ask yourself.. what are you lacking? ask yourself.. what do i want to be? who am i and what should i be doing? when you are single do you ask these questions? do you take the time to answer them? do you actively pursue things that would make you a better person? or do you focus on the fact that you feel low because you are alone ? what would it mean right now for you to love yourself? maybe it would mean looking for a better job maybe it would mean losing weight maybe it would mean some sort of personal growth where you train yourself not to procrastinate or be late anymore why do we always have to look for outside validation? if you have no significant other, does that mean you have no life? no goal? no mission? no enjoyment? no fun? no drive? must you have someone validate each and every thing you do? i will give an example of what i'm talking about ok say you like to cook big meals.. maybe you never do it because you reason "i have no one to cook for" or "i have no one to tell me it was good so what's the point?" i am saying do it because you like to do it.. maybe do it just for fun and eat it at lunch at work.. maybe just give it to a homeless person.. i am saying FORGET ABOUT GETTING VALIDATION FROM PEOPLE love yourself and just do what you think should be done, because success is when opportunity meets preparation.. meaning you might as well prepare now and loving yourself now will help you love someone else later say you cook and you have no one but yourself to cook for but you find out an amazing recipe during that time then you meet someone and you say "come to my place i'll make dinner" and you cook that recipe.. they'll probably be like: "WOWZERS THIS TASTES BETTER THAN EVERYTHING!!!!" well see your preparation has met opportunity.. had you said "i'll cook when i'm married" or something then you'd be putting off something that is 'profitable' and fun for who knows how long.. something that u love, and something that could possibly open up some sort of door or opportunity don't say "i'll lose weight when i meet the right person" no, love yourself and lose it now so again, what does it mean to love yourself? should we overlook it? should we put it on the backburner? i say do it nowz don't wait for love to find you.. invest in yourself and others right now.. don't feel bad if you are single.. don't focus on that and even if you are single and you want someone just pray about it but don't worry.. just pray and leave it in God's lap so i'm just saying overall, change your focus ^did any of this make any sense? let me explain why i said this.. let me explain where it came from i sometimes miss a girl who isn't in my life anymore and that somewhat led me to feel worthless however when i focus on bettering myself and my situations.. when i focus on becoming a better james.. when i love myself i feel a lot better i start to think i can set myself up to find someone just as good or better, and that even if i don't.. at least i'm trying, at least i'm having fun, at least i'm striving for something, etc kinda like the get rich or die trying mentality u don't have to necessarily count on finding love when u know you can create and facilitate some of your own (in the meantimez) |
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December 2012
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