i went to a hip hop discussion at school today
it was dumb and i don't really want to talk about it cuz i'm just going to get angry again if i do however i will say that it was an african american studies presentation and they served fried chicken which i found to be a sort of 'add insult to injury' type of thing "after our showing our veiled propaganda lets serve all those black kids fried chicken ahyuck!" i think life a lot of times is really absurd and rife with mockery, prejudice, discrimination, misconception, and deception u have situations where life may get some people down with a gunshot blast of oppression and pain.. and some situations where its like 'death by 10,000 paper cuts' a lot of times i am acutely aware of the multiple paper cuts administered by society well i got 10,000 band-aids does anyone understand what i am saying right now? i don't care if i'm understood right now to be honest ++++++ i went to another church today.. was this time a charm? it was actually a lot more up my alley! people studying the Bible, people communicating, people asking and answering questions and relating the Bible to everyday life different age groups communicating, sharing, and encouraging each other there were some pretty girls there too! (o:
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in december one of my old peeps from middle school and high school died
he wasn't exactly my friend but he was in our circle his name was andrew he died of a drug overdose when i found out i was surprised but one funny thing is this.. someone else in our old circle told me about a year prior to his death that andrew would probably die from drug use i guess that's just the path that andrew was on (i'm not dissing him, its unfortunate) anyway when he died i thought about my memories of him one day we were in gym class and andrew came up to me and slapped me in the face and said "i challenge you to a duel" i was pissed LOL so i slapped him back super hard and he said something like "smedley, ur a jerk off" or something lol .. ever since then we were always kinda like.. cordial but not good friends i always respected him though, and whenever i saw him around he was normally jovial and making someone laugh like i said he was just in the circle so.. even tho we weren't close, there was that camaraderie there anyway.. just wanted to post something to remember him peaCe the main point of what i was saying is, some ideas shouldn't be entertained
someone says they are separated... BUT THEY R STILL MARRIED. my point is certain lines should not be crossed no matter what.. don't let people sucker u into making bad decisions if i would've started dating this girl i would probably bring a curse from God into my life whatever temptations you have, be wise about your life and say no as soon as you know you should don't let that temptation drag u into some bs u feel me? werdage i saw a funny article today about a hypnotist who hypnotized kids and what ended up happening is some of the kids went bonkers lol
this had me cracking up when i read it: Miller Posada hypnotized a bunch of school kids during his act. 590 kids paid .40 cents to participate in a “fun day” which was complete with circus acts, clowns and hypnotism as the grand finalé. 12 Kids were called to the stage where the magician used deep eye contact and a monotone voice to put them in a trance and wow the crowd by making the kids bark like dogs, laugh hysterically and cry like babies among other things. Once the demonstration was over, the students walked back to their seats. Instead of things going back to normal, over 70 of the kids from the audience began to display bizarre symptoms. Witnesses and police on the scene recalled that some kids were screaming, others were crying and throwing themselves to the floor, some were beating themselves in the chest like gorillas and one girl started yelling crazy things and saying that she could see the devil! Oddly, only one of the kids who was called up to the stage displayed any symptoms, all of the other kids were from the audience. The kids were admitted into the hospital. Parents are requesting that the magician be called in to the hospital to remove the trance. The magician insists that he has never seen such a thing happen before and he has been performing this act for years and has performed it at many schools without incident. Doctor William Orlando Galarza, director of the José María Hernández hospital where the kids were taken, said that to different degrees, all children presented symptoms of collective hypnosis. Most of the kids have been released from the hospital although one of the kids had to be readmitted. lol "wtf did he do to our kids!?" i've been seeing a lot more 'hypnosis gone wrong' things lately for some reason some of you may have even heard about the high school principle who hypnotized some kids and a few of them ended up committing suicide please don't allow yourself to be hypnotized because it is demonic and you don't know what the outcome of it will be its like if 5 people play with a ouija board or 5 people do a hallucinogenic drug, each one is likely to have a different outcome or experience in the aftermath, the only thing is none of the outcomes will be positive.. or even if they appear positive, they won't be for long when u do something and then 30 minutes later, you look in the mirror and see a demon staring back at you acting as your reflection, you can pretty much say you did something you shouldn't have done i thought that news clip was hilarious but remember, when you do something crazy and weird playing with a spirit or your own consciousness you aren't sure what may happen so don't even do it i don't know this chick, but she was on a dating site and i thought she was exceptionally pretty.. i had been browsing for a minute there and when i saw her i was like whoa! what's funny tho is i dated a girl for a while who looked very similar to her i need to make money so i can get (and keep) a girl like this.. have u noticed if u make normal money, if you make any honest mistake a girl will use that as an excuse to leave you, but if you have a lot of money you can get away with everything under the sun and she still won't leave lol i guess its all about leverage! btw here's the girl i used to date.. they look madd similar to me maybe i have a 'type' .. meh i guess
one album i actually like that is new (came out 2011) is friendly fires album called 'pala'
if anyone is looking for a good new album i'd recommend it i guess i'd file it under electronic, funk, rock, dance music.. some songs have an rnb feel as well i'm not posting this for any reason other than to recommend u guys a good new album because i know good music today seems few and far between i haven't seen anything illuminati-esque in their music and i don't even think the album has any cursewords in it.. not saying it is or isn't morally perfect, but nothing really stands out as being like 'this is effed up' or anything the album is very smooth.. it is also very rhythmic and loud at times (yet in a very soothing way) check it out if u want a good new album over yesterday and today i read another musician's autobiography (some of u know those r my favorite books to read) this time i read fieldy's book "got the life" which came out in 09' fieldy is the bassist from korn i read head's book a few years back (head was a guitarist from korn) anyway.. here's what i have to say about fieldy's book first off.. this book is really good.. a lot of great details and a lot of things i never knew about.. both in the band as well as in his personal life the book is also lengthy.. a good 270 pages or so his early life was very crazy with his mom and dad being alcoholics as he got older his parents seemed to get their lives together but he never knew God or how to have peace or anything.. and he was also holding onto a lot of the pain of his past with his parents fighting all the time and his dad being unpredictable and oftentimes abusive so basically he felt like God was just something for 'religious nuts' and went through life doing what he wanted and achieving great success but he was still on pills, alcohol, cheating on his wives (he had 3) and everything just in case someone wants to read it, i won't say how he changed, but basically he ended up changing and believing in God this led him to be a completely different person.. to the point where he actually spent his whole first year (after giving his life to Christ) apologizing to people lol he was a real jerk before he found God.. he was the type to really go for the jugular and make people cry from what he'd say or how small he'd make you feel today he really makes a big effort to check himself basically its a great book i'd recommend it to everyone peep it if you want.. its not pretentious but it definitely carries with it a good message check it out to see who he was, how he got success, how he was a jerk, how/why he changed, and what the aftermath of that created.. also to learn about his relationships, his marriages, and to learn more about korn, music, and the industry here are some screen captures from the book that i thought were pretty cool/interesting: lol why do chicks like to be treated like SH*T!? ^ very true.. i wholeheartedly agree ^i'd definitely recommend that advice to a struggling couple.. ask yourself.. is it worth the fight? a lot of times u should just be cool about things even though they get under your skin.. remember love is first patient!!
one of the best albums i've ever heard is team sleep's self titled release
it only has one lame song on the entire album and that was a song called 'tomb of liegia' so after that one song is gone you have 14 classic songs i just wanted to put this out there, you should get this album if you don't have it it is definitely like a hidden gem.. an album like this makes you look at the 00 - 09 decade in a whole different way.. there was so much garbage in that decade musically, its like.. amazing that someone was making timeless music right in the middle of the decade in 05' this is the kind of album that makes u want to experience beauty in some tangible way check out the album if you don't have it.. delete that one lame song and listen to it all the way through if you actually do this, please let me know your verdict btw, the genre is kinda.. there kinda isn't a genre per se however i'd say emotional trip hop rock if i had to describe it seriously, if you are looking for a good album and you haven't heard it, check it out.. i've been listening to it for years and its still a monumental record i wanted to talk about albums i heard in the past that struck me as being wildly immoral yet veiled with delicate words
the Bible says that in the last days God will increase knowledge i think this has happened with the internet as well as with this whole uncovering of the illuminati, various other secret societies and secret plans, and how they work things that were over my head yet right under my nose for my whole life all began to be revealed and make sense in about 2010 or so prior to this time i had a 311 album and on a song i remember nick hexum said "do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law" i remember this stuck out like a sore thumb to me when i heard it.. i remember thinking that it was a wildly flawed philosophy.. i remember being confused like "how could nick hexum say a thing like that?" i think things that give clarity are generally from God and things that make you more confused, or things that make u screw your face up like u just smelled something foul.. those things are generally from satan when he said this i remember thinking about it in my head and being like "if everyone did what they wanted and got away with it, things would be crazy." if i wanted to beat up nick hexum for example, that would be allowed and legal.. that thought alone ruins his whole philosophy what was so bad tho, was to an extent i tried to extract a good message out of it this is i think where a lot of music gets u.. someone says something very stupid but because u trust that person, instead of rejecting the statement, you try to make the statement make sense.. u end up trying to defend the statement in your mind a bit overall it brought confusion into my mind.. this was the only lyric in that album that i remember really thinking about.. it was the only lyric that went into my head and my brain did a sort of "does not compute" type of rejection which caused me to stop and do a sort of analysis on the lyric TODAY i understand it tho.. again, the Bible says in the last days knowledge will increase today i understand that "do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law" is the main credo of the satanic bible (at the time i had no idea) so i now understand why that lyric was always such a foreign thing to me, because its demonic and straight from hell 311 was pushing hidden satanic credos to me.. kinda like how a mom will hide medicine for a child in their food.. even if it was only once in that whole 45 minute album.. still it is demonic and confusing and there to subvert good moral theory ++++++ another time this happened was when i listened to the streets album called "everything is borrowed" this album was very awful with its theories, lyrics, morality, and hidden agendas.. much much worse than any of his previous work this was the first album where i felt like the streets was just WAY off.. and again.. i tried to make it make sense in my head but i just couldn't.. looking back, that's how they get you.. they say something that is covertly destructive, then if you actually cosign it and believe it then you will begin to apply it to your life and boom.. before you know it you have denied Christ and instead chose to believe a lie of some sort in this album he had a song where he said on the chorus: "i want to go to heaven for the weather, hell for the company" in other words, when you sing this song, you are partly saying you want to go to hell.. not only that, but the song (in the verses) he sort of embraces doing wrong and right and comes to a conclusion that they are equal.. he basically says he wants to do good but he also doesn't want to miss out on the "excitement" of doing wrong.. so he decides they are both basically the same thing in his mind (again, a complete theoretical lack of morality) on another song he said his religion is to do what he wants.. this song bothered me to the point where i remember i talked to my mom about it i told her the lyrics and before i was able to explain to her how stupid and immoral it was, she said "that's right.. i agree with what he's saying because blah blah" i let her finish and told her why it was actually a veiled way of saying 'anything goes' the lyrics said something like "when i do good i feel good when i do bad i feel bad, so i try to do things to feel good and that's my religion" i said yeah it sounds all nice but its destructive because what if molesting kids makes me feel good? we can't rely on our own minds for morality, different people desire different things, that doesn't mean they are right what if i don't feel guilt when i steal? if i want to have sex with someone's wife, then that feels right to me.. what feels right can never be our morality gauge .. we all have something we want to do that is wrong, we need God and His word to guide us, we are just human, we can't be the final authority on everything when i explained the destructive nature of the lyrics and how unedifying it was to my spirit, my mom just listened and didn't say anything back.. i think she understood it after i explained it.. but the fact that she didn't see the full picture at first made me realize.. "this is how they get people" i ended up just throwing the album in the trash with its stupid theories (this alum was full of immorality disguised as 'wisdom' like more than any other album i have ever heard from him or anyone) ++++++ at the time i didn't know then what i know now.. but now i understand mike skinner (the streets) went through a time where he wanted to find God.. but he was unable to find Him.. i think this is because he tried to fit God in a box and find Him on his own terms as opposed to humbling himself and going as a child i actually even remember seeing something on youtube where mike skinner and his manager went to jerusalem to sort of 'get closer to God' or 'find some meaning' but i remember mike looked around and saw people selling knick knacks in a temple or something and came to the conclusion that 'none of this is real' this disappointment and lack of belief ended up coming out in this album.. what i felt like he wasn't understanding was its not about what people do, its about you, Christ your Bible, your salvation.. etc.. people are bound to disappoint you.. he was trying to base his life on what he saw other people do when that's not how it works ++++++ this was just two times where music didn't sit well with me and like i said this is how they get people.. you build up a trust and admiration for certain artists over time then they say something demonic and you will either accept it or reject it this is not only mental but also even physical.. when they say something crazy, do u continue to nod your head up and down to the beat as if you're in agreement? or do u stop and make a face like 'wtf'? one of my 'friends' who is deep into music one day asked me to do a song with him.. i said ok but let me hear some of your music he gave me a link and the first song was him denying Christ i told him we wouldn't mix because i'm a Christian to me, in the back of my mind i thought "they got him" "they" being the artists who put out these demonic philosophies.. do u continue to agree or do u end up throwing your cd away like i did with the streets album? he relinquished his belief in Christ to go after his idols and their ideals i say this because there was actually a time where him, myself and his brother all went to their church on sunday.. they knew about Jesus and morality now he denies Christ and denies that the Bible is truth there are times when u listen to music when u have to know when to say NO he obviously continued to say yes and it ended up changing his beliefs.. not only him but his brother as well it got to where i'd go on facebook and they'd either be mocking Christ or talking about gay rights and defending what the Lord calls an abomination so yeah.. i just wanted to talk about two times where music really disturbed my spirit incidents like these are what make me very detached from the music industry two can't walk together lest they agree.. so if you are saying things in your lyrics that are just too morally corrupt.. i will have to turn your music off i think some people want to 'walk together' with their favorite artists or IDOLS, more than they want to 'agree'.. and as a result, they end up actually agreeing, doing what their idols do, and leaving God not good. man i need a girl so bad
seriously i sometimes feel like i would do anything for a girl! i would go as far as saying it is one of my biggest pains or 'weaknesses'.. my lack of proper companionship also the whole "lust" thing which.. honestly i don't even really understand the difference between lust and love.. to me they are inextricably linked i don't really understand how desiring something ur supposed to have is wrong i feel like people tell u "don't desire women" but i don't see how that makes any sense whatever.. anyway.. one thing i think about is how i feel like i don't get any attention from women.. like u would think i'm a really bad guy u would think i was an ex-con or something.. i sometimes wonder if i am really that bad of a guy to not be able to get and/or keep a girl on any kind of romantic level wow.. just as i was typing that i got an email from a girl.. awsum iono.. maybe i shouldn't get so down on myself u know what i mean where there's a will there's a way right? i just really need a woman.. like seriously its not funny.. i go to wal-mart and i am bombarded with gorgeous single moms.. like at least one of these women has to be for me... right? ... right? ^i think i just heard my own echo. |
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December 2012
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