i want to talk about what i've been thinking about lately
one thing i've been trying to do is stay positive and have smaller vision what i mean by smaller vision is i tend to think about things on a large scale.. like someone will be thinking "i broke a nail today" but i'll be thinking about what it will be like when the world ends or what happens in eternity i think about deep and big important things a lot i think about people and their body language, the implications of their actions.. i think about what things mean, what things symbolize, what things may eventually amount to.. i weigh things out quite a bit and i see a lot of patterns form in life and behavior the problem with thinking like this is sometimes i get perhaps a bit too wrapped up in it.. and sometimes i'll be thinking too much about the future and not about the present at all, and it doesn't help that i normally tend to think the present is very boring.. when i think about the present all i tend to see is what we call "life" petty arguments on facebook mundane jobs that are unfulfilling and the same every day homework bills running errands feeling like u never have enough time etc. etc. but see, the problem with thinking on a large scale all the time is that sometimes it makes everything in life seem worthless when there is actually SOME worth to tending to life and its various issues and in thinking about big and deep things, u see so much bleakness that it can be difficult to function in a healthy way let me give an example: i try to pay attention to the bible and where we are in time, as far as i can tell, it looks to me like the next things we have to look forward to are more huge natural disasters as well as a major global economic crisis (among other things i won't touch on right now) now.. with me thinking about things like this all the time, its like inside i feel that there is nothing to really look forward to.. or i question the point of things.. sometimes people talk about their futures but in my head i'm thinking "future? ... where will america be in 5, 10, or 20 years?" i think to myself, yeah u've enjoyed a measure of comfort for your whole life but how long will it last? i am trying to not think so deep about everything all the time because i end up operating on, and having my attitude affected by- things that haven't even occurred yet i've been like this ever since i was about... 15 or 16.. my mom always would say to me "don't come at me today with any of those 'why is the sky blue' questions" or "i'm not into analyzing every little thing james, don't wear me out today" i try not to be a downer but that's kinda what thinking does to u.. if u think then u begin to ponder the consequences of everything around you.. and no one wants to hear about consequences now do they? ++++++ on a diff subject, i got on a dating site to look around today and a girl had a pic of herself sitting in a guy's lap.. this guy was hugging her so i'm sitting here wondering why she would post a pic of herself in another man's embrace if she... man just forget it.. there is no point in me even saying anything some girls just have no clue about dos and don'ts when it comes to guys.. like they are so clueless that i find it offensive if i am interested in dating you, the LAST thing i want to see on your profile is a pic of u sitting in a guy's lap as he hugs you WHATEVER SMH ++++++ ok another thing that i've been thinking about lately is this whole idea of a "trophy wife" it had been rolling around in my head for a bit, then i saw a commercial on tv on this commercial, a guy owned a business and he was talking about his product.. then a woman who looked about 15-20 years younger than him came in she was pretty, she had blonde hair and a pink shirt and she was all made up.. she came into the commercial and talked about how great the product is they didn't say much but i saw the whole scenario of their lives as i watched this commercial the guy worked all his life and created a successful product.. he had money so he went out and got himself a trophy wife and allowed her to be in his commercial its a win-win situation, he gets the compliant eye candy and she gets handsomely taken care of what did they have in common before they met? probably nothing.. but does it matter? no, because they are both meeting and exceeding eachother's expectation for one another now fast forward a week later and a girl who is 16 or 17 adds me on facebook and she looks RIDICULOUSLY good the gears are turning lol should i seek that whole trophy wife lifestyle? maybe that's in the cards for me so far u could say i've gotten off to a slow start, i'm 26 and still in college.. i don't seem to really have a great deal going for me right now but maybe my future wife is actually 15, 16, or 17 right now who knows? maybe one day i'll get to a place where i'm happy and stable and say to myself.. "maybe i'll head down to the nearest college in my nicest car" boom.. trophy wife city sure we may not have much in common and she probably won't know who doug funny is... but will it matter? if i'm 30 something in a fly car with a college girl do u really think i will care about her stance in politics? LOL iono, we'll see wat happens i suppose.. i like girls my age because i know i can have a decent conversation with them, but if i can't get financially stable in time before all the girls my age have kids and/or husbands then i may have to go the trophy route
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
JaimsI still got teh swag-flu. Archives
December 2011
|