one of the reasons i took a break from writing in here for a few days was to try and let some time pass.. to stop "complaining"
i have been in a really bad mood for pretty much all of this year so far and i don't want to bore everyone to death with how much i hate everything
however the bottom line is i feel like there is something horribly wrong with my life and i don't know what to do
i don't remember life ever feeling this bleak and hopeless
life isn't enjoyable to me right now, and i don't know if anyone understands this.. like when i say life isn't enjoyable, i mean like i wake up in the morning and immediately i want to go back to sleep
its not TODAY, its EVERYDAY.. its like some dark cloud that follows me everywhere and i don't know how to make it go away
sooo.. today i saw this comment on a website.. it was a comment concerning my all-time favorite movie "office space"
this movie, as well as the person who left the comment, both seem to understand what i go through everyday
i am blessed and everything, but severely lacking in the area of personal fulfillment
anyway here's the comment i saw.. it seems to explain my life better than i can:
Too many people live to work - shackling themselves to a soulless job, thinking that it will be worth it all when the future comes. But it's delusional, they don't realize what they are sacrificing, which is their state of happiness. It's madness. We mindlessly trade the bulk of our life for something that is only a glimpse on the faraway horizon, and we carry on entranced in an existence of mediocrity and despondence- living as a slave to the system. All with the keys to freedom tightly secured in our hand. We just forget that we are holding them.
"We don't have a lot of time on this earth! We weren't meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements."
This film portrays it all, and there's also a few good laughs. Definitely an inspiring cult classic.
this describes what i feel like
like i'm lost in this abyss just wandering around without a grip on anything.. or like the israelites in the Bible who remained in a transitional period for 40yrs
i don't kno.. i just wish i could get a grip on things or have direction or something
i find it all hard to explain
how about this.. think about the happiest person u kno... ok now think about the opposite of that person (insert pool boy here)
i really just want change for the better
i feel like i'm exhausted, and not physically.. but just on a higher level that is intangible
like my spirit and soul are flat-out parched.. and its hard to explain that in words
and the reader says: "sounds like somebody's got a case of the mondays"
oh well.. it is what it is
u all keep it bonkers