here's one thing i've never talked about
one day i was chilling in the house.. (i think i was about 13) and my mom was in the garage and i happened to walk by the garage and my mom said "james! run quick! get help! hurry!" out of nowhere
it was like that type of urgent thing where u don't ask questions u just GO.
and i saw out the corner of my eye that she didn't seem to be in danger, she was just like hunched over doing something with flowers or something.. but her urgency made me panic regardless
so in the back of my mind i was confused but in the front of my mind i was thinking "drop everything and get help"
i don't really even remember what i did i think i ran upstairs to call 911
then as i got up there and everything she called to me and said "nevermind, james i'm fine.. i'm fine james"
and i was like "well what's wrong what's going on?"
and she was like "i was just trying to see what you would do if i needed help"
after she said that then it made sense why she was just standing there out of the corner of my eye and didn't seem to be in danger
but here's what i want to say about that ish.. ok.. no one in my life before or since has ever done anything like that to me
it was one of the most horrifying and confusing and painful instances u could imagine
when she told me to run and get help i was filled with a lot of fear and adrenaline.. but when she said "i just wanted to see what you would do" ALL OF THAT ADRENALINE CONVERTED INTO ANGER
i was like.. mentally gone for a bit.. i was SO ANGRY it was incredible, i wanted to lash out at my mom for doing that so bad but i guess my conscience was strong enough to hold me back
I WAS SUPER PISSED, like to where you don't even know what to do or say or think.. ur JUST ANGRY
so i was walking around in histerics and in anger pacing and i went to my room but instead of opening the door i just punched a hole through it
my parents had to buy a whole new door, and i never got in trouble for it.. but think about it.. i didn't deserve to be punished for that.. because that was like psychological child abuse
so... i don't know.. its just something i never talked about before.. but i remembered it today and figured i'd share it