so the other day this guy at work was talking about family guy and myself and someone else said we don't like that show
i don't like the show because it is racist.. black people are always being cut down in some way.. also they get blasphemous at times or make fun of Christian people or whatever he went on to explain why he thinks the show is great.. he said "its offensive to everyone.. that's why its great" ok.. this dude isn't black and he isn't a Christian either.. so its easy for him to just say "its equally offensive to everyone without discrimination" think about it.. when do they make fun of young american white males on family guy? when do they make fun of atheists? *taps foot* ...i'm waiting.... i didn't say anything so he just kept talking.. he kept trying to justify the show to us he finally ended his speech with this statement: "the show offends people and i like offending people" ................. ok "i like offending people" wow.. so you like offending people.. you like to make fun of people, laugh at their expense, u like belittling others and since family guy gives u that, u enjoy the show herein lies the difference between you and i.. and u just unknowingly proved my whole point about that show its immature.. as is your prideful "i like offending people" credo
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what's up.. today i was blessed quite a bit in that i got $49 from a book i sold
so i was actually able to eat and stuff lol.. honestly i thought i was going to get like $10 if that so like i said.. i was very blessed today i've been talking to this girl recently.. i'm thinking about trying to get close to her.. she isn't like.. perfect but she is nice and i am a lonely dude to be honest with u people don't understand my loneliness.. people are like "why don't u just" all the time all of my personal problems and issues sound stupid to people around me "why don't u have a girlfriend yet?" "why are u having a hard time in that class?" whatever question it is it begins to get annoying.. especially since its always from people who don't have problems in these same areas of their life.. like i could do that same thing if i wanted to be inconsiderate for example.. say i met a girl who had an eating disorder.. i could go up to her and say "why don't u just eat?" well its a little deeper than that, and no matter what she says.. it sounds stupid to me "i have body issues, james.. my dad never told me i was beautiful" then i'm standing there looking at her with a blank face as if she said nothing at all bottom line is i wouldn't understand the depth of her struggle and people don't understand mine look just to get some of this off my chest let me talk about why i don't have a girlfriend ok let me break this down.. i'm a Christian.. where are the Christian girls at? i watched a show on tv the other day and they asked a 15 yr old girl who her "idol" was and she said snooki from jersey shore WOW.. look a lot of girls are whores these days and they look up to other whores.. whores or hoes, or loose women.. whatever u want to call them.. they certainly aren't trying to walk the walk i'm trying to walk the Bible says the way to heaven is narrow.. the way to hell is wide.. i need the girls on that straight and narrow people don't understand that i'm serious about this.. like the other day some girl online said she wanted to meet me and she had pictures up of herself.. she had a nice body.. huge boobs.. really pretty.. but she wasn't a Christian so i didn't even begin to pursue it would i like to go and bang some easy girl with huge boobs? YES however i'm bad enough in my life and i don't need to add to my sins.. people don't understand i have to throw a lot of fish back u feel what i'm sayin? if i wasn't a Christian i'd probably be having sex right now.. i think about sex like every moment of life.. and people think i'm joking when i say that but i'm serious however.. even though its always on my mind.. sex in a lot of ways isn't important to me.. not in the same way it is to other people.. let me explain sex to me is what u get on top of a good loving marriage relationship.. its not the MAIN COURSE, its a benefit.. not something that should dictate all of a person's decision making.. however a lot of other people treat sex as if it is everything for example i was on a hip hop website not too long ago and i noticed an article a woman wrote.. in it she said "i don't really know a man until i've had sex with him" and she went on to talk about how if the sex isn't good she stops being interested think about that ish.. to me personally it is ridiculous and superficial.. let me explain my view my view is u build a relationship starting with mutual attraction, then a genuine friendship, then sincere love, then marriage then sex.. if the sex is bad on the honeymoon i'm not going to say "chaaaaa... yeah u know what? this isn't gnna work out.. this u and me thing isn't gnna work" no.. i'm going to explain to my partner how we can have a better intimate relationship and we will try again to me that is love.. that is patience and grace and its genuine the whole.. "we just had one bad 30 minute encounter so i'm done with u" to me is EXTREMELY demeaning oh wow lol i've gone a bit off topic for this blog ok well.. check it out.. overall here's the deal... people don't understand me.. they don't get why i do what i do.. they don't understand why my problems exist.. i feel like no one understands me except for a few.. i have recurring issues and problems not because i WANT them, but because i deal with certain circumstances and situations based on my beliefs or my strengths or my weaknesses and basically.. since i go my own route.. i get tired of people insinuating that i'm somehow "off" or "flawed" LOOK NGGA U DONT UNDERSTAND ME SO DONT EVEN ATTEMPT TO SAY U GET MY SITUATIONS OR HOW TO FIX MY ISSUES EITHER TRY TO FEEL WHERE IM COMIN FROM OR SHUT YOUR MOUTH (you guys r going to have to try and make sense out of this.. i feel like it was a bit of a ramble.. but hey i gotta get ish off my chest) peaCe so umm.. i ran out of food.. i have no food and no monies at all
i guess in a way this is convenient because i do indeed want to lose weight i don't have any money to spend until thursday.. i have some leftover chicken and i have some water no juice, no milk, no bread, no coffee, not even lettuce.. i even finished off a bunch of old lifesavers from easter well.. might as well capitalize on it huh? i must admit i have been tired of the fact that my stomach moves like a waterbed peaCe what i've been learning Posted by poolboyjames on December 8, 2010 at 4:38 PM comments (0)life itself has been known to teach its subjects a lesson or two here and there
i think i've recently passed some of life's tests and acquired some knowledge as a result here's what i have learned let people be people.. people are flawed and its not our job to change them, punish them, reprimand them, or exact revenge on them.. these are God's jobs thus, when we want to see change in a person we must do our part.. which is simply continue loving them and then God (upon seeing our obedience) can do His part in their life on our behalf when we want to see change in people, we have to let God do it when we put ourselves in God's shoes we get in the way of what God wants to do when people make us angry and offend us we have to stop trying to put them in their place and "check" them.. we have to let God handle it we can sit and argue with fools all day or just give it all to the Lord and move on guess which one i'm choosing from now on? *kicks feet up on table* the beginning Posted by poolboyjames on December 7, 2010 at 2:30 AM comments (0)when i was about 14 i decided to my first rap
i remember specifically i got a notepad and paper and it kinda seemed like a special moment because it was the first time i ever really said to myself, "i'm going to write my own rap" i got the pen and the pad and i began to write i somehow ended up writing like 2 lines about being iced-out and i realized right then that rapping takes more than i thought it would i put the pen down after those 2 lines and went and did something else all i did at the time was mental note a few things and save them for later the main things i learned in that short time period were: "i am not speaking for myself right now" "i have been conditioned through repeated mainstream rap images to rap about having money and cars and girls" "i have to find something that i want to speak about" "i don't have a voice and/or identity carved out for myself quite yet" rap always sets a higher standard for the aspiring rapper, and this was the first obstacle i faced.. u may ask.. what kept u going despite the obstacles? the answer is curiosity like when i realized i didn't have an "identity" or a "voice," then came the next thought of.. i can probably find a great deal of this THROUGH music.. and from then on i always wondered what i would sound like if i made a beat of my own, what would i sound like if i did an entire rap and played it back to myself, etc. etc. it was like a curiosity or desire to know myself in a way.. i wanted to see myself reflected to myself.. and i always felt confident in my ability to be creative.. even when i was at my worst, i always felt like, with time i could outdo any other rapper so that was my first attempt at rapping.. it was a situation where u really grow just like how they say when u plant a seed, it grows downward first.. this situation was the beginning of my grassroots.. no one could see the growth, but before action comes thought.. before execution there is knowledge.. and this experience of realizing i didn't know what i was doing was the first thing i needed to realize i only wrote those two lines and they meant nothing but i walked away with so many questions that i realized rapping isn't just something u do, i realized right then that in a lot of ways its a labor.. of love and self exploration indeed, but still a labor i understood right then that i'd have to approach everything much different whenever i picked up the pen again so after that i decided to take some time to think and mull over my approach and search for a place of sincerity.. a place where i could explore my own subject matter i grew downward that day and that was my first experience writing a rap north pole or bust Posted by poolboyjames on December 7, 2010 at 10:39 PM comments (0)one thing i want to point out is like.. i don't really like myself or anything
if i was a girl and i saw me, i wouldn't date me i dated a person once and i remember she confessed to me she didn't love or like herself i didn't understand that at the time well i do now i think i have great qualities, however they are not shown as much as my flaws, and this is what contributes to my lack of self confidence to explain it its like... say u are a penguin living in the jungle.. everyday ur gnna be like "DAMN NGGA ITS HOT OUTSIDE!!!" and ur always gnna be cranky and uncomfortable and all ur peers r gnna be happy and they won't understand u and u won't understand them i look up and see monkeys using their hands and feet to swing from branches as happy as they wanna be.. then i look at my own hands and i don't even have fingers! i have cool talents of my own, like i can slide down snow mountains on my belly but guess what? THERE IS NO SNOW HERE IN THE JUNGLE. i'm a penguin who feels worthless and out of place this is how i feel every day, stressed and alienated.. alone and peeved.. and these things seem to be affecting my self imagequite a bit like i need to make it back to the north pole!!!!!! the north pole being my personal niche in life and that's just what it is look mom, no hands! Posted by poolboyjames on December 7, 2010 at 12:30 AM comments (0)i get no props for my website however i think its good.. so i'm gnna give myself props on some "look mom, no hands!" type ish
here are the top 10 reasons why this is the best website you know about 1. i'm one person.. yet i still manage to update the site with new material regularly every once in a while i take a break but for the most part you can come here every day or at least every week and find new ish 2. i post my own personal music when i make it.. i also explain a lot of the process of making the songs i make 3. i post personal things. i don't do it for my own benefit.. it doesn't benefit me to talk about my own flaws or problems.. i do it for the readers in hope that they will feel less alienated in their own skin when they have a problematic or awkward moment also.. my personal opinions are expressed on this site.. meaning they are out in the public and open for debate 4. i post pictures u never know what kind of picture i may post (which brings me to #5) 5. i can be really random with my content and subject matter this is dope because it keeps my site from getting boring.. even if i have an ongoing thing like Bible study, i still add to knowledge, keep things fresh and insteresting.. its never too redundant 6. i post videos of myself as well as other artists and interesting, insightful, and humorous things 7. my site is easy to navigate, simple design.. i haven't done anything annoying to the site.. (it does have that ad at the top all the time, but i can't control that.. also, i choose a design that keeps that ad at the top so that u don't have to see a blinking ad while u read or watch a video on here) 8. i post insightful content.. you want to learn about the Bible? i got some Bible study.. you want to learn about the true origin of hippie culture? i got it.. you want to know about male/female relationships? i got it.. i'm pretty much willing to shed light on anything.. i study things in my spare time, and also i am a deep thinker, i'm very observant, and i am inquisitive about a number of things these traits end up being expressed to you in blogs and to demonstrate what i'm talking about i always try to give examples so everyone understands clearly 9. i am available the home page has my email, my aim/ichat, as well as my playstation id.. i used to even have my phone number on there no one ever uses my contact information, however its great that i'm available.. i'm not hiding.. i have pictures and videos of myself on here.. comments are enabled and i wired them directly to my email.. any debates, discussions, or advice anyone wants from me.. its just a click away 10. i do this for the love of it.. the reason you do a thing has a great effect on HOW you do it to me, keeping my website up is a job, but its a job i enjoy doing.. sometimes i wish i had more feedback from readers or something however at the end of the day i'm going to keep writing regardless of the response i get because i do it for the people and for the love of self expression, there is a certain amount of integrity in this website that u won't find on other websites they irk me Posted by poolboyjames on December 7, 2010 at 3:49 AM comments (0)one quick thing i want to point out
one of my biggest pet-peeves since high school has been.. people who like school i like that they enjoy their lives and everything what bothers me is that i don't get it! when people say they like school, or when people are always chipper everyday, or when they say things like "i hate that teacher, he gave me a B+ instead of an A" i don't get those people its like they enjoy the process of school and this is something i have struggled with for years my attitude a lot of days is like: "i can't believe i'm paying this teacher to bore me like this" "why do all the stories we read for this class involve someone being called the n-word?" "another reading assignment!? why don't u just hitch my nut-bag to a ford f-150 and stomp on the gas instead.. it'll have the same effect on me but it'll be a lot quicker this way" "am i the only one who thinks this entire assignment is vague?" "this teacher is an arrogant jackass" so.. for me.. its a struggle to remain positive about school.. sometimes i wish i could get close to one of those school-lovers so i could understand their thought process about school.. because i feel like they're in on a special secret that i need to hear for my own well-being people who like school typically really irritate me they just seem so happy and right at home in the mix and every day i pour another cup of ambition and drag myself to campus they're always talking about their grades and their tests and projects i'm walking around campus thinking about how lucrative college must be for those people in suits who profit from it.. i go to the lunch area and see these massively inflated prices.. yet some classes literally always smell like feet due to mold.. i look at all the propaganda aimed at us at school.. NO I DO NOT WANT TO JOIN THE GAY/STRAIGHT ALLIANCE.. STOP POSTING THAT SH*T EVERYWHERE all in all.. i am constantly inundated with negative thoughts about school .. i'm having a hard enough time fighting them back enough to sit through my classes in peace, then i happen to overhear someone in the front row talking about how "they love the difficult teachers" or how their fraternity is gnna have an awesome barbecue at the end of the day, i do think college will be great for me in then end.. however at the same time, i don't buy into the "system" and they do.. so i don't understand them, and they don't understand me we want the good ones Posted by poolboyjames on December 6, 2010 at 12:08 PM comments (0)saw this posted today on facebook from some guy i don't even know:
"It has been a good day, but Sundays are always great. It is always great to start the week with Church and praising God because he is such a strength for me. Just wished I could find some woman who has that same belief. I am going to enjoy this holiday season and I am wishing every one a Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year. If you are reading this maybe you will remember that Christmas is about Jesus Christ." this irks me a bit.. to have to see this^ kinda makes me feel like there are no good women left however at the same time its comforting to know that i'm not the only Christian dude out here who deals with such a plight form and language Posted by poolboyjames on December 6, 2010 at 12:19 AM comments (0)i was thinking about terms for boobs today
i'm going to give my input on the main terms and what they mean when i was younger i remember calling them titties a lot.. somewhere in the mid to late 90s though, i remember i began noticing sometimes on mtv people would say titties and they'd bleep it out and that really surprised me i never thought of "titties" as being a bad word.. back where i was from we all said it and it was never deemed dirty or anything once mtv began bleeping it tho, it seemed to me like it just became dirtier and less socially acceptable over time.. and with time it got phased out of my vocabulary for the most part i've just called them boobs after that.. i am like.. have u ever seen the cartoon show king of the hill? i'm like hank hill in that i like to try and keep things from becoming dirty or too intimate when i'm in public.. i'm really.. i don't want to say conservative.. i'm a gentleman .. i don't like things that are obnoxious and low class so i've always just gone for the default word.. the word that will get the fewest snickers and smirks- "boobs" .. (sometimes maybe even "chest" but for now lets just talk about words the indicate the female chest) boobs is what u say just to refer to the female chest.. its not highly stylized or perverted sounding or anything now.. my personal favorite word for boobs is "breasts".. however i don't use it much.. why? well to me breasts is a... its a term of endearment in a way like this: tittie = chest of a stripper (kinda dirty) boob = default word for female chest breast = a thing of beauty.. something to be prized and cherished.. something u hold close to your heart like the neighborhood jump-off has titties your wife has breasts u get what i mean? the word "breasts" is a real turn on imo all these other terms like "sweater puppies" or "ta-tas" are annoying to me.. imo they de-value this important aspect of a woman's body.. long story short they are stimulating to men and vital to babies.. they are important and i find it annoying when people define them with silly and degrading terms so.. overall i say use the default "boobs" or if you are referring to a true beauty.. someone u put on a pedestal.. someone u genuinely care for.. someone who gives u real delight and pleasure.. then u can deem her assets "breasts" peaCe + Luvs |
JaimsHere are my 2010 blogs. I can honestly say I like looking back over these, so check them out. They're teh hotness. Archives
December 2010
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