my heart can type Posted by poolboyjames on August 26, 2010 at 6:47 PM comments (0)everyday when i wake up in the morning i constantly think about how little i care what people think of me
do u ever have a thought that just follows u wherever u go? it just seems to talk in your ear over and over? this is what the voice in my ear says to me all the time.. it says "wow, i honestly don't care what anyone thinks" every single day this thought replays in my mind everyday i think about how my life is and how i have nothing to lose on a social level, no one can cast me out of their clique or crew because i'm pretty much already an outcast at any given moment in any given situation i think about how cowardly and weak so many people are i think about how confused so many people are i think about how arrogant people are i think about how i've been rejected by the people i've most wanted to be accepted by i think about how utterly meaningless peoples' opinions are i think about how i don't value other peoples standards of greatness at all i think about how shortsighted everyone is these thoughts replay in my head daily i am always thinking about how i honestly don't care what people think of me don't get me wrong i'm not going to walk out the house naked or something, i mean i am still going to act normal.. but i mean like.. certain pressures.. like peer pressure, the fear of not being liked, the fear of being isolated.. etc... they don't affect me they may irk me at times but everyday i unconsciously re-affirm to myself that my actions, thoughts, and convictions will not change for anyone i constantly think about how i flat-out refuse to appease people at my expense u might be thinking.. why is james saying this? everything i'm saying right now is embedded in my heart... this is what i think about everyday but never say outloud i have little to no regard for peoples' feelings and opinions about me i am polite and loving but honestly behind my eyes is a person who is in many ways very detached and unaffected by others on the surface i am agreeable, but on the inside i am critical.. i keep that side to myself but just the fact that its there keeps me making my own decisions and disregarding popular opinion i am not sure if this will come in handy one day or what but.. for better or for worse this is how i feel.. i guess u could say it is a strong personal conviction actually i wrote some lyrics kinda concerning this a few weeks ago i used to walk with my head down, stare at my feet/ so i'll jump off a bridge before i care what you think/ matter fact i dare you to speak/ been hungry for revenge n its rare that i eat/ i've been dissed til death seemed better than life/ so i know what rejection is like/ talkin to myself cuz no one else is polite/ tears shed when i cry in my bed everynight/ i dnt even wanna b considered cool/ cuz i'm used to the disses and the ridicule/ peaCe
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JaimsHere are my 2010 blogs. I can honestly say I like looking back over these, so check them out. They're teh hotness. Archives
December 2010
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