me vs. boredom and anxiety Posted by poolboyjames on April 29, 2010 at 9:20 PM comments (0)i am so angry inside right now
i'm trying so hard to just chill i keep thinking about music school is so uninteresting to me its so boring like no joke it sometimes makes me feel like i'm dead inside that's what extreme boredom feels like.. like something inside of yourself is dying i just want good grades and i want to know that i never have todeal with these classes ever again my advisor was telling me i should re-take some classes just to help my gpa i was like "i'm gonna try to only take classes i have to take to graduate" i really wanted to say "are you fcking serious?" why in the fck would i want to re-take any of these stupid worthless classes? it was such a dumb suggestion, like i may not have a 4.0 but i'm not that desperate.. she is acting like taking these classes is FUN or something like sometimes i feel like school is such a struggle because its just so boring and like.. u know the thing that has bothered me the most this semester has been literature.. i've always loved writing and all that but this literature class has just been complete garbage like i miss music so much because i feel like school has sucked some life out of me.. like i want it back.. i want to wake up and know that i don't have to hear another hour-long lecture from a pretentious faggot with a horrible voice like ok i'm trying not to complain but i feel like i need to vent i seem to have some anxiety about exams like last semester our literature exam was to write 3 essays in one hour about a topic the teacher chose when ur used to writing one essay in 3 hours how in the fck do u write 3 essays in one hour? and i think we have to do that again for this upcoming exam!!!! i hate his class so much.. like it went from i hate his class to i hate him, like i can't stand to look at him.. every assignment has been so shitty i can't believe it its like if someone told u "go sit and write a scholarly essay about paperclips" that's what his assignments are like to me.. its just fluff and b.s. and it just bothers me.. like i don't know what it is.. on some level it shouldn't bother me.. it should just be, do the dumb assignment right? but after a while, the fact that the assignment is dumb begins to wear on me.. and i think that's overall what it is.. i just feel worn out.. just plain worn out.. like my patience (which is what allows me to deal with things i don't like) has been depleted and i don't know how to replenish it like i need a pick-me-up or some sort of recharge, or something so that i can finish my exams successfully ok i'm just gonna leave it at that i'm only going to talk positive from now on.. i can keep my composure, i will get really good grades, i will stay cool and i won't take my anger out on anyone.. i will make it work for my good i vented, now i'm going to just be positive ok peaCe
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JaimsHere are my 2010 blogs. I can honestly say I like looking back over these, so check them out. They're teh hotness. Archives
December 2010
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