i wrote a huge blog today about a principle that is very important to art and entertainment of all types .. it took me like an hour to write it but it got deleted and i am quite upset about it.. so i'm going to try and do it again.. the principle i am talking about is knowing when to quit a thing (which is mainly an issue of integrity and/or tact)
my example is lauryn hill.. hiphopdx is my fave website and they said this today about lauryn hill:
Hill defends herself against some angry fans after showing up four hours late to her show
Lauryn Hill recently kicked off her first extended tour in years, and it is not off to a great start. The former Fugees star was four hours late to her show in Williamsburg on Tuesday, December 28. Her DJ and band were on stage waiting along with the fans, who soon turned hostile.
After members of the audience began throwing cups and bottles on stage, the keyboard player taped a sign to his kit that read "I was on time." A witness told the NY Times that when Lauryn arrived shortly after midnight she was carried in to avoid the snow. By the time she hit the stage some fans had makeshift signs that read "you just lost one" and "this is insulting."
While Hill apologized for being late, her tone was anything but apologetic as she told fans “I spent my entire 20s sacrificing my life to give you love. So when I hear people complain, I don’t know what to tell you,” she said. “I personally know I’m worth the wait.”
After performing her first song, she noticed the sign taped to the keyboard and tore it down, telling the band member, “you trying to escape the bottles and the cups. Next time you take it, you take it like a man. We in this together, brother.”
ok so basically.. i have to give the abridged version i guess because i don't know if i remember everything i said the first time i wrote this but i have a few points i wanted to make
1. why would an artist behave this way?
the answer is this.. they don't want to be an artist anymore
my sister has 3 kids and i don't think her heart is in poetry and music anymore like it used to be.. sometimes if i try to get her on a song or something it seems like she is distracted and it took me a while to realize it but i just think her head is elsewhere
lauryn hill in my opinion is like this also.. she was great in the late 90s however her zeal and love for music and the music-making process has been severely decreased for one reason or another
she no longer feels that connection with fans and that duty to make great art
but here's the issue.. she is going to continue to keep doing the music because that's how she makes money
the thing that says "don't be late because the fans are depending on you" isn't guiding her anymore.. money is
so as a result.. the fans get crapped on.. her band and crew get crapped on.. essentially at this point lauryn hill is the only person benefitting anymore..
#2. there is a good way and a bad way to let go
Seinfeld was offered more money than ever to do one last season but he felt in his heart the show was over, he was happy with his efforts and so he turned the money down.. as a result people can now say
seinfeld was a great show of the 90s
seinfeld never had a bad season
seinfeld went out at number one in the ratings
so as a result he can still make a million off an appearance or just kick back and collect checks from his syndicated shows and massive dvd sales
that 70s show went on way too long, the teens became adults and as a result things that were once just "immature teen" behavior became plain stupidity with time..
also.. and here's the real kicker for this.. THE MAIN CHARACTER LEFT THE SHOW AND THE SHOW KEPT GOING
how ridiculous is that?
i saw an interview later of the guy who played fez and he said "those last few seasons were just things i did to pay my rent" and he laughed about it but that's not funny to the real fans
like u ruined the reputation of the show.. u ran it into the ground, u "jumped the shark" (look up the phrase if u don't know it) like 4 or 5 times and ish
its like how ur in a social situation and someone comes up to u and tells u this hilarious joke.. u crack up laughing and ish is all good.. then they see u the next day and they say the joke again.. then 2 weeks pass and u see them and they say the joke AGAIN.. by this time u are beginning to resent this person's existence
when u see them again ur going to want to walk the other way because they have no tact.. they don't know when to leave good enough alone
.. its just annoying
lauryn hill's heart is no longer in it.. but she needs money
so she's going to make everyone suffer either until she benefits enough to quit again, or until her fans straight up abandon her
she needs to just be real with everyone and say "my heart's not in this anymore" do some kind of farewell show and just end it
this could possibly apply to other things like relationships also
like if the zeal, love and excitement are gone.. and ur spouse is actually beginning to treat u like crap.. maybe their heart's really no longer in it
they can be real with u and tell u what they're feeling or put u through the ringer more with their apathy and inconsiderate behavior
either way u look at it.. bowing out gracefully is an art that all should learn
u gotta know when to quit a thing.. be respectful, have integrity and let a thing go when its time.. its a principle of art and life situations in general
with that said.. it is now time for 2010 to end and bow out.. goodbye.. 2010 its been real but its time to move along!
so one thing that annoys me is when companies have proprietary chargers
i wish every device just used usb and/or mini usb
my phone and my camera both use proprietary cords to function and as a result whenever i have to hook them up then i have to find their specific cords
if they would just use usb then i wouldn't have to keep up with the cords and ish.. whatever
since i've been working out i've been having rem sleep again.. rem is rapid eye movement.. its a deep sleep where u have a lot of dreams and ur brain is i guess like.. unloading and getting ready to load again? i'm not sure what its doing all i know is i learned in psychology that rem sleep is important
exercise helps u to get rem sleep
i've also heard people who do things like smoke weed lose rem sleep.. like it may help u get to sleep.. but i've heard even tho it may help u get to sleep, u end up not achieving rem sleep anymore
i've been thinking about how much i love women.. it causes a lot of pain for me
when i see a beautiful woman i adore and admire her from my heart and just having that thing i love and admire ignore me is not fun
its also weird because i've been thinking about how the Bible says he who loses his life shall gain it and he who keeps his life shall lose it
i've been thinking about trying to think about that in terms of women.. like maybe if u stop thinking about girls and stop seeking attention from them then u will get one but if u try to get a woman u will never get one
that may be my problem.. i think about women a lot.. i really care about some of them deeply but maybe it will take self-love to get someone else to love.. with that said its about like a chinese finger trap.. in that the opposite of what comes natural to you is what will get u the results u want
also i've been thinking about how the Bible says do not love the world.. so that would mean like.. try to stop caring about things too much whether it be sex, women, how u are perceived, money, clothing, etc.
.. its weird cuz as a male u see a woman u like and u want her in your life somehow.. u want her time, her attention, or u want sex.. cuz even if all u have is a memory.. u feel like u have a piece of that beauty with u from then on (which is why u have songs like young money's "every girl" aka i want to fck every girl in the world)
but is any of this positive? beauty doesn't mean u will have peace in ur relationship or in ur life.. living the whole "every girl" lifestyle seems like sexual gluttony to me.. it may be fun but it may eventually take a certain toll on someone perhaps through drama, or stds, or unwanted pregnancies, or perhaps just hangups like failure to be able to commit etc.
its hard trying to process my natural feelings vs. what works for reality.. what i want to do is just bang every cute girl i can get my hands on but honestly what would that achieve for me?
hopefully my life will one day make sense and i will be able to look back and say "i'm glad i did it this way instead of that way"
like maybe one day i will be a real catch and girls will say "hey that guy is mature and he doesn't have any kids or real drama, so why not date him"
cuz right now its more like just being constantly overlooked and constantly not being good enough for one reason or another
my goal is to stop allowing my feelings for women to trip me up.. i have extreme love and hate for women.. the hate is a result of the love if that makes any sense
sometimes the pain is debilitating.. like say i'm in good physical shape.. i've been working out for 2 months.. then i meet a girl, we date for 3 weeks and i want her to stay in my life.. then she leaves me.. then i just stop working out and let myself go
self love wouldn't allow that to happen.. i should really respect myself as a child of God and not as like.. the potential proud boyfriend of a pretty girl
i have to learn how to put girls on the backburner and put myself first.. i'm the type of dude who traditionally will drop anything to spend time with a girl i like but i have to change that because its not helpful to me and my personal progress and girls don't respect or appreciate it
^just a collection of thoughts
i disabled the internet on my playstation 3 because people on there kinda get in my nerves lately.. like they send me madd messages when i'm just trying to chill and i've noticed some people have cameras but they turn them off.. i don't understand the point of that
why would u go on video chat and turn ur camera off? its to the point where i am just like wow forget it cuz this community is wack!! ..i'm about to delete everyone from my friend list
my mom recently told me i preach a lot.. during a conversation i'm always like "well u know what the Bible says about that..." and i finish it off with scripture
i think worldly knowledge is useless while Bible knowledge is truth.. it seems to me that a lot of people feel the opposite way
i think if u know God is real then the things He says should be on your mind .. i kinda don't understand people who say they are Christians but they don't try to mind what God says or they don't try to abstain from sins.. if God is God then He is automatically smarter than you u know what i'm sayin?
so why would u choose ur way over His?
don't get me wrong tho i know sometimes its hard.. its hard to choose things that contradict ur nature all the time but we just have to renew our minds constantly i guess
my goal is to get a new job within 2 weeks time
please throw up a quick prayer for me to achieve this goal.. i think with dedication i can do it
i haven't had much to say lately
so u guys stay bonk in the streets
one thing i want to talk about right now is how sometimes we are identified by others
like i've gotten through times in my life with the assistance of people i've never met
person A talking to me: "dude u r fckin weird.. aye ngga what's ur name again?"
person B hearing person A: "leave him alone he's like a lupe fiasco type cat"
i don't know exactly what a "lupe fiasco type cat" is but i figure they just mean.. "he kinda does his own thing but he's still cool with us"
i've noticed a lot of times in life people don't know what to make of u and if they can't figure u out a lot of times they will just not even give u much of a chance to be in their clique or group or whatever
if ur perceived as weird or different then sometimes u are just out of luck but i've had a lot of help when entering these situations from people like lupe and pharrell and people who have broadened the spectrum of what black people can be
like if u dress kinda weird someone may be like "oh i get it, ur kinda like pharrell" as opposed to "that ngga dress like a dumbass" LOL
so i really appreciate people who go out and represent for who they really are inside.. it opens doors for other people to do the same and it helps people feel less alone because they have someone to identify with
oh and just to name a few more people.. andre 3000 and farnsworth bentley are two more people who do their own thing.. and u may laugh about me pointing out farnsworth bentley but he has had a great influence on black people and helped black people to reach for class both in dress as well as in manners (i read his book on etiquette) and from shows like 'G's to Gents'
i remember when he was first introduced on diddy's making the band show and everybody was like who the fck is that? why is he dressed like that? what is this nggas job? LOL
but since then i've seen dudes actually wearing sweater vests and walking around with umbrellas.. and its not that that's exactly positive but its just.. like i said earlier.. it broadens the spectrum of what a black male can look like and be perceived as and still be accepted by others.. which i think is positive.. u don't necessarily have to be slangin crack to be accepted u kno what i mean.. u don't have to be rick ross or 50 cent
so yeah.. i guess consider this blog entry to just be props to people who keep it real with themselves and others.. and people who set a good example for those looking up to them
it really means a lot.. and like i've said.. people like pharrell and lupe and common have gotten me through a lot of potentially bad social situations.. when i'm around certain groups of people i stick out like a sore thumb but as soon as someone says "oh ok i get it, ur kinda like common" or "oh i see u do this like that person" then i avoid getting beat up or i just make a new friend
so props to those who stay real and have integrity and open up doors beyond perpetuation of stereotypes
Fashion victim is a term claimed to have been coined by Oscar de la Renta that is used to identify a person who is unable to identify commonly recognized boundaries of style.
Fashion victims are victims because they are vulnerable to faddishness and materialism, two of the widely recognized excesses of fashion, and consequently are at the mercy of society's prejudices or of the commercial interest of the fashion industry, or of both. According to Versace, "When a woman alters her look too much from season to season, she becomes a fashion victim."
^that was a copy and paste from wikipedia
and with that said.. too many rappers are fashion victims.. altering their clothing, subject matter, rap style, and flow to keep up with the ever-changing ways of "cool"
all these dudes who would rather be a fake jay-z than a real representation of their self.. they are indeed fashion victims and i have no respect for any of them.. talent means nothing if u waste it being a clone
i been tradin freestyles over the playstation network with some cats on the video chat.. fun ish.. one day i will have to record it and post it on here
the video chat works pretty good.. if u have a ps3 peep that out and when u do, add me to ur friend list and get at me
i'm watchin cowboy bebop.. ish is great.. i was thinking about what makes it a cool show and u kno what i think a big part of it is?
the fact that it has no music.. its very much just like.. a generally quiet, subdued show.. it has an interesting vibe to it
so at belmont university i'm hearing that there's a lot of gay controversy there.. like the school is Christian and has always been.. and i don't know the whole story but i guess a gay teacher is there causing a ruckus
i want to give my opinion on this
i wouldn't go to a place where amish people are and say "EMPLOY ME! I KNOW IM NOT AMISH BUT YOU CANT DISCRIMINATE AGAINST ME!!"
think about it.. they teach their kids to be amish so who am i to go there and promote a non-amish lifestyle to their kids?
like just in general that wouldn't make any sense.. moving on
i've been working out and i hope to continue to at LEAST do 60 sit ups per day and 30 push ups per day
i have realized its a self worth thing more than anything else.. every time i think about working out- i think about how worthless i feel inside and i get this thought that says "its no use anyway so don't even try"
i showed my nephews and my niece eyepet today.. LOL ish was madd fun to watch.. they were straight dumbfounded by that game.. they were going insane when they saw it.. i still think its one of the most creative things ever n ish
i know i didn't say much of substance here but ..meh
i've been listening to my 2006 cd "style by fire" tonight.. i never listen to it but i decided i'd give it a spin tonight
its funny to me to listen to this cd.. when i did this cd i was 21 but the cd is like really emo.. wow i was really going through a lot of stuff at the time.. most people at 21 are supposed to be their happiest right? well i was obviously goin through some ish and i had a lot of sadness
also notable about that cd is i made all the beats myself.. like i refused to sample at the time.. thinking back, i was definitely my own guy in my own zone at the time
another thing i've noticed about the cd btw is that for some reason i was doing songs with high bpms.. when i hear it now it sounds like i'm constantly trying to keep up with the beat as opposed to just riding it out smoothly on something where i can properly catch my breath
the cd definitely takes me back which is kinda cool.. however i definitely wouldn't want anyone to hear it today lol
but one thing i like about the cd is its very honest
i wanted to take a moment to talk about the playstation 3
to me its by far the best system and i'd probably go as far as to say its my fave video game system EVER
i'm gnna highlight some of the exclusive games i've played and enjoyed
metal gear 4, little big planet, uncharted 2, killzone 2
all these games were great and only on da ps3 lol @ the x-bots
real quick i want to talk about my fave song of the yr and then i'll talk about the 2 previous yrs...
my fave song of 2010 was:
"cosmic library zone" from charles hamilton
the reason this was my fave is because the sound, some of the lyrics and the overall presentation seemed to match me a lot this yr
it has a feeling of being broken yet content in its broken-ness
also a few other notable things about the song
1. it was freestyled
2. i worked in a library and in the song he's talking about adoring a girl while in the library
3. he said "i live in a trash can" .. which to me is kinda like saying "u have no reason to like me" which is how i felt a lot this yr with girls
4. it almost feels like he's singing about the girl to himself.. like he's just alone in his own zone, admiring a girl
5. the singing shouldn't sound good but it does.. does that make sense? i like the WAY he sings it the most.. "can't block meee" lol
my fave song of the yr from 09 was soulja boy's "swag-flu"
what i liked about that was how he turned a big negative- swine-flu, into a positive song with a sort of funny appeal and a great beat.. when i think about it.. this is another song that feels almost like he's singing it to himself.. like something u'd make while looking in the mirror in the morning or some ish
my fave song of 08 was wired all wrong's "15 minutes"
this song totally matched how i felt at the time.. not so much the lyrics but just the feelings it evoked.. it was a sort of cool collected aggression
i saw this today at wal-mart.. i thought it was so dope!
seriously i already have 2 controllers but i'd buy this!
btw.. have u noticed the buttons on playstation are green, red, blue, and PINK.. like what made them choose pink instead of yellow?
i always wonder about that ish