there's a girl i like who works at tjmaxx she is incredibly beautiful
i wanted to talk to her today but i didn't know what to say
i kept standing around thinking about what i should say and it all sounded corny
"umm, i like you..." NO
"hello i would like to have your phone number" NO
"u r really pretty to me i was just wondering.." NO
i was really really stumped..
my cousin said there's no right or wrong way to talk to a girl, she said just talk to her normally like just be friendly and then ask to exchange numbers before u walk away
that made way more sense than everything that popped in my head
i guess the problem is, when i like a girl the feelings i have for her make me nervous and make me forget normal things
its like i can talk to girls i'm not attracted to so easily with no pressure
i guess the issue is, when i'm talking to a pretty girl i want her approval so she doesn't run away, so the whole time my mind is racing everywhere trying to keep everything together and perfect
whereas the other girls i really don't care what they do so i'm real relaxed.. like when i'm around girls i'm not attracted to i will say something madd stupid that i don't even think they will laugh at and they will sit there and crack up..
but around girls i like i will think twice and be like wait james don't say that, that's only gonna be funny to you and she's gonna think ur corny etc. etc.
this whole thing is something i hope to conquer soon
on a similar, but different note, i asked the 29 yr old girl out
i was flirting with her a bunch then i was like so when r u gonna go out with me?
she looked annoyed and she was like "never, ur too young"
i was like do u even know how old i am?
she was like "no, but i know how old i am"
i was like ok i see how u do then
and that was it.. i think she expected me to say something else but i felt like i ran out of options at that point
ahh well.. i still like a few more girls so we'll keep it movin
the artists have to do interview after interview over and over for hours or maybe even days at a time, they are asked the same questions in each interview and its boring
on top of this.. some of these interview people are not legit, so they will interview the artist and when they have the information they will not treat it as it should be treated, meaning they will not promote it correctly (only 100 to 1,000 people will ever find the interview) or its just on some no-name website or whatever
or u have a situation where u can find the interview rather easily but the website that houses the interview puts commercials all over it.. u start the interview and u have to watch a commercial, then on top of that u hear a mixtape dj yelling all throughout the entire interview
they are essentially de-valuing this interview, which is actually like a mini biography.. they are de-valuing this artist, their life, and their story
so the current situation is not fair to the consumer or the artist
my idea was this:
say u are a popular artist and u have a website
here's what i think would work:
u take questions on your website.. like u have a box where people can just ask u questions 24 hours a day
every week you answer 5 of the questions in a video blog and u post the video blog on your site
this way the interviews are steady, in a year u have 52 videoblog interviews and u have answered 260 different questions
u haven't done ANY boring dumb interviews, u haven't wasted your valuable time as an artist, your interviews haven't been wasted because your whole fan base sees them as opposed to a low number of people who happened to find it, and yourinterview doesn't get cut up and shown in 2 minute fragments amongst mixtape djs screaming all over it and there are no commercials at the beginning or end of your interview
i wish i had something to talk about but it seems i don't, i have no news, and i find that to be a problem
i guess its not a problem because it just means i am probably going through a time of normalcy like.. school, tv, youtube, video games
normal is good however things get boring at times
we as people obviously draw from experiences but with so much to do i tend to stay inside and look over books and studies so things have been madd boring
lately i haven't had much energy to do anything.. i know why, its because i'm bored with my life.. and i'm not mad about it its just i'm not doing anything i want to do
the main thing i want to do is make a new cd
i have a plan on how to accomplish this goal however the plan currently involves a few more months of "normal" life
this pot of gold at the end of my rainbow is what keeps me going
at any given moment all i ever want to do with my time is make a song or play a video game or chill with a girl
haven't been playin any games because my ps3 has no wireless to latch onto where i live.. with it not being online it can be kinda boring unless u play the campaign.. which i may do when i get uncharted
lets see, as for girls 2 girls i liked dropped our classes we had together, then i just found out the girl with the thighs smokes cigarettes so i don't know if she is even worth it anymore.. she kinda is.. but i don't know if anything would work in the long run
the last girl i like is still cool, and i got a phone number recently.. but the girl i got a number from is madd skinny lol i'll pass
anyway.. i'm mainly just sayin i don't have much to say cuz i'm not very inspired.. i'm really looking forward to making a new album in 2010 tho.. i think i can make a perfect classic to make other albums obsolete, i really believe that
its just that right now i'm in normal mode.. which is fine
when ur young u kinda don't realize how much your parents care about u
they don't really show it.. i mean they do, but in some ways they don't
they take care of you, keep your best interest in mind, center their lives around yours, they make sure u have fun Christmas's and birthdays, they get u new clothes for school, the list goes on and on
in their mind they are giving you love everyday.. and they are right
in a kid's mind, they have received all of this for so long that sometimes they only see what they DONT get.. like verbal or moral support, or material things, or whatever
when u get older sometimes u see your parents' love and u and u realize they did the best they could even when it didn't seem that way
whats done in the dark comes to the light i suppose
there was a lot of times when u didn't see their love for you, or you didn't see how u hurt their feelings, or you didn't see all the conversations they had with other people about you, or you didn't see the worry they had when u stayed out too late because when u got back, the worry manifested itself as anger
i have realized ur parents most likely have a weak spot for you that you don't really see
the reason you don't see it oftentimes is because it is a very large and vulnerable spot.. something this vulnerable has to be covered up in order to be protected, especially in the child's teenage years because teenagers can be cruel
if your heart is just wrapped up in someone u may want to cover that up because if they know the effect they can have on you then they can use it against u in the worst ways
so i guess my point is, be patient with ur parents, oftentimes they love u so much that they can't and/or are just way too afraid to express it properly
properly expressing your love to your child can be similar to buying a $4,000 ring for a 4 yr old.. yes u may think they are worth it, but the truth is they cannot fathom its value, or properly handle it or the responsibilities that come with it
u might come home and find that ring on the dirt in the driveway
except in the given context of this metaphor that ring could be a loving parent's heart
a heart that is given to someone who cannot handle it properly is a heart that is misused.. so oftentimes it is partly withheld
i just went to hiphopdx.com and they had a young buck and all star video/song so i clicked on it... not because i like them, but because both of them live in nashville and i wanted to see what was poppin cuz i also live in nashville (well, clarksville now, but lets not get into semantics)
so i checked it out and wow.. both the song and video are like nothing more than stereotypes about black males put to music
now.. i was peepin it and i didn't even listen critically, i was just lettin them do their thing.. then young buck said "we shootin' nggas grandmamas"
so i figured i'd peep the comments.. i figured everyone would surely feel the same way i did.. like this is total garbage
i peep the comments and people are like "that ngga buck da realest!" or "damn, buck nice wit da lyrics!" or "he go hard!"
WOW to the 10th power.
this sort of thing is the exact reason why i love rap (rhythm and poetry) but i never feel like a part of it.. i feel like an outside entity.. like i don't even belong to a genre because the people who rap, or people who are fans of rap seem to enjoy reveling in ignorance
shootin a nggas grandmother is not something i want to nod my head to.. i mean its kinda funny, but it wasn't even said in a funny way, he said it like he was serious.. like oh, by the way, i will shoot your grandma
whatever.. do u guys see what i'm sayin?
i just can't relate.. i love hip hop but i don't feel like part of the family.. if u use curse words in every sentence, or ur 30 yrs old rapping about shootin grandmas then i literally think u are wasting the air it takes to speak